Empowering Choices: The Voyage of Personal Growth and Professional Care on Mindeset Monday

Imagine those nagging voices in your head as wild horses, leading you astray. Sounds familiar, right? Well, this week on Mindset Monday, we grapple with the concept of self-awareness, and how to cultivate trust in oneself. We dissect the pesky 'itty bitty shitty committee' that resides in our mind, leading us on a wild goose chase. The good news? We have the power to tame these voices, master our internal dialogue, and steer ourselves towards inner peace and self-love. With our straightforward 'name game' technique, you will learn to discern truth from false in your life. 

Shifting gears, we probe into career self-care in the second segment. We challenge you to break away from the addictive email habit, commit to quality sleep, and prioritize your creativity - before surrendering control to others. Ever heard of 'pebbling'? It's a beautiful tradition of loved ones showering you with gifts as tokens of their affection. We also delve into sleep music, a potent tool to subdue background noise and promote sound sleep. Loaded with practical exercises and tips, Mindset Monday is all set to guide you towards self-care, optimizing the potential of your brain in the process. So, come along and let's embark on this journey of making empowering choices together!

Transcript

Charlie: 0:02

Good morning and welcome to the table.

Heahter: 0:05

I'm Charlie and I'm Heather.

Charlie: 0:09

And it is mindset Monday. Thank you for joining us. If you have been calling us, you know that we love to learn and grow and we're taking you on the journey with us.

Heahter: 0:22

We're choosing, deciding every week how we're going to show up, who we're going to be. Step up, step and step and step and into ourselves, not like trying to be anybody. That we're not Right. So very authentic.

Charlie: 0:39

We're going to be reading a couple of conversations and we have been reading a couple of really awesome books that we are going to talk about. But if you want to hear me read them, go check out our Sunday edition of the weekly reading. Okay, career self care by Minna Zetlin.

Heahter: 0:58

And the voice of knowledge by Don McGill Ruiz, and I love his whole series of books, and this week does not let you down. This really dives into the itty bitty, shitty committee. And are you listening to them like they're your own voice or not?

Charlie: 1:15

Yeah, so we all have this voice in our head, this self judgment that we hear in our head all the time why are you doing that? You can't do that.

Heahter: 1:27

This is a judgment Telling you can't do something, the you can't wear, that you'll be too nervous, right.

Charlie: 1:38

And we talked about that just a couple weeks ago and so we take deep to figure out where these things come from, and this chapter pretty much sums it up really well on where these where the, where the shitty committee comes from in your life and I like the end points to ponder are always a good place to have a discussion around, so I liked this one.

Heahter: 2:04

The voice in your head is like a wild horse, taking you wherever it wants to go. Once you tame the horse, you can ride the horse. The knowledge becomes a tool for your communication that takes you where you want to go.

Charlie: 2:19

Oh, so remember how we talked about the domestication of humans.

Heahter: 2:24

Yeah.

Charlie: 2:25

So let's turn that around a little bit and look at our domestication as the horse Right. Yeah, so it's a wild horse because it's not your beliefs, it's not your what's true for you, yes, and so it's wild because it's always going to fight you.

Heahter: 2:50

Because you're always like but that doesn't feel good with me, oh, but I'm not allowed to feel that way. Oh, but that still doesn't feel good with me. Oh, but I just have to go with this. And then you always don't, you don't feel good. You feel really unfulfilled in life, confused even yeah. I feel like depression, but like your vibration just keeps kind of lowering until you get into that really yucky feeling yourself, the voice is coming, the whole whole thing.

Heahter: 3:23

I can't do this, I deserve this. You might even say to yourself like you yeah, did we not record no?

Charlie: 3:31

it's recording. Oh okay, I'm trying to fix it. Okay, yeah, I'm down.

Heahter: 3:51

Okay, okay, first try first try, yeah, and it happens right. So there was a perfect intermission. So so it's such a great thing to think about, like, where is this thought in that spiral? To like that spiral is like a white horse man, you just you're like it's like you put that rope around the horse's neck and your hand is like stuck there and you're going on this loop like how can you let go of that wild horse and choose where?

Charlie: 4:21

you want to be Right and learn to tame it so that it works for you, not against you. Yeah, right, right.

Heahter: 4:29

Okay, so yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. All right, you don't need internal dialogue. You can know without thinking. You can perceive your feelings. Why waste energy telling yourself what you already know or worrying about what you don't know? When the voice in your head finally stops talking, your experience, inner peace.

Charlie: 5:01

When I was reading the chapter, one of the things they talked about is how we don't have to learn how to breathe Right, we just know how to breathe. Sometimes we forget to breathe, sometimes we're not breathing in a way that is good for us, but our bodies don't stop breathing until we die Period From birth to death. You breathe Right, and so that is kind of an example of the knowing right. You already know so much about yourself and about your personal experiences and things that you don't have to necessarily. What's the word I'm looking for?

Heahter: 6:01

You already know. You already know you don't need to have this debate or dialogue in your head. You don't have to have a why or reason Because we spend so much time feeling like we have to explain our decisions, justify ourselves.

Charlie: 6:19

Justifying Right, right. So that is.

Heahter: 6:24

I didn't have to justify your choices, because you don't have to justify your choices. We were talking about. Like I was looking at all these activity things and I wanted to figure out my own pacing and planning for my physical body needs and I started to justify why I needed an assistance with something.

Charlie: 6:48

You didn't need to do that. I didn't need to do that, so I was doing it out loud but that's what we do in our heads.

Heahter: 6:54

is we justify it to ourselves? So we're just trusting.

Charlie: 6:58

All right, all on interknowing and really interknowing. How much do we get?

Heahter: 7:03

Just like yeah trust. Because when we're trusting ourselves, there's an ease and a close to the decision and your confidence behind that trust shows.

Charlie: 7:17

Right yeah.

Heahter: 7:19

So building that love for yourself, knowing yourself, trusting that and really feeling that. So we talked about that name game you can play with yourself. So this is just like a really simple way to show yourself what's true and not true.

Charlie: 7:38

Yeah, and it's it's. We all know what our name is and we all know what our name is not. So say out loud to yourself my name is, and then say your name and feel how that feels in your heart my name is Heather. Now do the same thing, after noticing how that felt to you when you said your name, and use a different name that is not attached to you in any way Not a nickname, not anything like that that's something you've ever been called.

Charlie: 8:15

And don't call yourself something bad or not. It's like an actual name, An actual name. So my name is George.

Heahter: 8:24

Next one I was like I could think of like a million girl names. I'm like, oh, I'd love to be called that. That's what I was thinking in my head. I was like, yeah, let's go with a dude name, right. So how did that just didn't feel right to me, like, when I said my name, I felt it like I identified it through my core. This is me. That was a true statement, right, I could really only feel it here. So it's like when the first time we did it, I did feel it right here and only right there. And now it can connect. It's kind of cool.

Charlie: 9:04

Growth.

Heahter: 9:05

So when you?

Charlie: 9:05

say your own name, right. And Georgia was right here and then you say not your name, it's like up here and it doesn't really feel good. That's how you can just begin playing with what is true to you, yeah, right. And then you have to trust yourself and what is true or what is not true to you, yes, and learning to trust that intuition, right, yeah, and connecting to it, right.

Heahter: 9:33

And it feels so good when you start to make your decisions and then, like you know, gently reminding yourself you don't have to justify, and then you know, oh, that felt really good inside, I feel good about that decision and, if you're right, I didn't have to justify anything. But now my self-worth is going up, right, right. It starts that going in the right direction and changing that vibration and moving up the vibration level. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool.

Charlie: 10:03

Let's talk about one more point to ponder here with Amigo Ruiz, and that is this piece. Here, the truth survives our skepticism, but we cannot say the same about lies. Lies can only survive if we believe them. The truth is still the truth, whether or not we believe it. That is the beauty of the truth, okay.

Heahter: 10:35

So I was watching a podcast and the host was interviewing a famous singer and she was talking about her growth and she's beautiful. We've loved her for years, she's gorgeous. That was never something we would think was an issue, but one of the things that she would tell herself, and didn't realize it for a long time, was that she was ugly. And when she said that out loud she was like that does not abide with me, like what, where did that come from? And so then she you know she's talking about her own growth and how that's happening. So it's like she's famous, we all admire and think she's gorgeous, and she still had that weird belief that she was ugly. So what are you telling yourself?

Charlie: 11:27

Right, right and, by the way, this beautiful, amazing artist that we all know, her name is Pink.

Heahter: 11:37

Actually, that one was Lee Ann Rimes. That one was Lee Ann Rimes, okay.

Charlie: 11:41

Oh, I just want to interview Pink. I have heard Pink say very similar.

Heahter: 11:46

Wait, like you just have to, I have to.

Charlie: 11:48

Oh, that was the.

Heahter: 11:49

Deja Vu.

Charlie: 11:50

Yes, yes, another great podcast, if you want to check it out. But Good night. Where does this take us? Right?

Heahter: 12:00

We're not alone in this. Like itty bitty, shitty committee always there, so having the tool Right, and so we're talking about career self-care, career self care by Minda Bettenham.

Charlie: 12:15

This week we were talking about you have a brain. Here's how to make the most of it, right? So it goes back to how we treat ourselves and all that things. But the exercises to try this week are are pretty, pretty insightful. Yeah, if you want to give them a try. The first one is breaking the email habit. How much time every day do you spend on email? What time of day do you read and respond to that email? How does it look at how that affects your day? And and Try it. If you, you're a morning email reader Right, I know I am I like to check my emails first thing in the morning, respond to things, and then I actually don't check it again until the afternoon Before. Right, we're gonna have over the day schedule. That is currently my pattern, right, I might have to change it up after reading this right, I'm curious.

Charlie: 13:09

Yeah, right, like try putting it off until late afternoon. The same goes for slack messages, chats, texts, phone calls and social media, which is really hard when you work in social media.

Charlie: 13:18

Okay and if your customers is starting the day with some other Monday tasks, such as filing paperwork, set that aside until later as well. Instead, when you first arrive at your desk in the morning, tackle your biggest, most important task, the one that requires all your creativity and problem-solving skills eat the frog, I love that, because what I really like about that is that you aren't letting your brain be taken by anyone else before you use your own creativity.

Heahter: 13:55

Mm-hmm, and that's the whole point of it. Right is that you get to choose and decide how you use your energy instead of letting somebody else have power control. Right, because then you're thinking about their problem or their issue, how to respond to it, right? So if you take that time and just set aside that time for that creative thing, that was hard. Now it's easy, because your brain can actually focus on it instead of everybody else right.

Charlie: 14:27

This is the same reason why I like to Get up and start working early in the morning. It's like when everybody's quiet and how, subscribe before they go steals your brain. Before anybody steals my brain, I can focus and get a bunch of stuff done. That was pebbling. You right, I love pebbles back, we love pebbles. But no, if you don't know, pebbling is when your loved ones, like penguins, bring you pretty shiny things treats, snacks, literal pebbles flowers, Little things to remind you how much they love you.

Heahter: 15:05

Yeah, but they drop them in your space while you're trying to do something.

Charlie: 15:09

Okay it's the whole side of my desk over here, you guys. Number two is commit to sleep. Most adults require between seven and eight hours of sleep a night and, as mentioned in a previous chapter, some researchers believe that means you need at least eight and a half hours in beds, since you don't spend a hundred percent of time in your bed sleeping. Anybody else guilty of scrolling bed? My husband. Sometimes he's like put the phone down, go to bed.

Charlie: 15:47

Okay, turn it off and I put it face down right, so then it doesn't light up and everything else just hear me, and I don't know if you do this too, but when my alarm goes off in the morning, it's on my phone. Right, alarms around my phone. I take my phone and I shove it in my pillow. No, no, it's news, that's hilarious, and then it wakes me up again with it by breaks, no.

Heahter: 16:15

No, that's with me. That's with me. Okay, I like that, but I do tell my Alexa and my phone to give me a snooze, which I learned a new limiting belief around that, so I'm excited to challenge that myself.

Charlie: 16:29

So look at how long it takes you to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning and add that to your eight hours.

Heahter: 16:37

Right, like you're not just climbing in bed.

Charlie: 16:39

Nobody comes in bed and goes out cold. Well, unless they're completely exhausted, in which case they might need more sleep anyway.

Heahter: 16:48

Maybe we should talk about other kinds of self-care for me and turn the episode off. Right, yeah, like okay, no, we're, don't get into another episode. That episode and the adult, yeah, and I love to put on YouTube sleep music because I live in an apartment complex and it helps with noises. I didn't realize it also helps with my son's noises moving around the apartment, so it helps with that, but it just helps Like so that sound. And then it's been really fun to explore different types of sounds and I found that running water is bad Wake up and go pee all night.

Charlie: 17:33

Well, not pee Right.

Heahter: 17:36

That was a really bad night. I was like, oh, let's not do that again.

Charlie: 17:40

I have my little electronic lady play music at me, yeah, and it's usually like healing frequencies, meditation music, things like that. But, yes, nothing with water.

Heahter: 17:54

It's just like oh, I got enough issues.

Charlie: 17:56

And when it's raining, I open my window. Yes, right, and it's so much time, so my window's open right now anyway, but I think that's why I thought running water might be OK.

Heahter: 18:08

I didn't think about it, because I do love the sound of rain.

Charlie: 18:12

For some reason rain is fine, but like waterfalls, not so much.

Heahter: 18:17

Yes, ok, running rivers.

Charlie: 18:20

So, tripling, take care of yourself, get some sleep. Try to prioritize sleep for one week of your life and make sure you get nice stressful sleep and things like that, and then notice how you feel.

Heahter: 18:34

Yeah, after a few weeks. That's really what it's about is figuring out what works for you, right?

Charlie: 18:39

And the time of day that you sleep I don't think really matters so much, but make sure that your environment and everything else is conducive to that. Like my husband used to work swing shift and so we have blackout curtains on our windows and stuff and our bed is in kind of like this nook that is supposed to be like an attached nursery on our master suite, but we put our bed in there so we can put a blackout curtain across the doorway and so that even it doesn't matter what it doesn't matter what shift he's on, whether he's on swings or grapes or whatever, he could still sleep during the day when it was light outside Right.

Heahter: 19:19

So setting up your environment to we did that for my grandpa too, and then it was like, because of the way the house was built, like you didn't go down that end of the hallway, like unless you were super quiet and yeah, because the whole house moves, you know, because of the mobile home Back in the day.

Charlie: 19:41

Yeah, but the master suite is usually at the far end.

Heahter: 19:44

Yeah, at the far end. So it's fine. We were like could be normal and then we didn't play on that side of the house, which is fine, because the play was all in the other side of the house anyways.

Charlie: 19:54

Yeah, and they did that on purpose. Yes, so just make sure you set up your environment so that it lends to that sleep and you allow yourself the time to actually fall asleep and actually wake up, right, yes, okay, instead of his news, his news, his news. Oh crap, I'm late out the door. Right, that's not?

Heahter: 20:15

ideal. It's getting to the point of it's normal for your body to like go to sleep and wake up and not make you be in that panic feeling. Exactly I wish that for you all.

Charlie: 20:30

Yeah, because that's fabulous. Yeah, I don't like the panic feel and I actually go to bed a lot earlier than some people because I get up naturally early in the morning. But that's me, that's me, damn. And number three this week is create a schedule that takes your brain into account. So this is kind of what we were just talking about was like, if you are naturally a nine hour old, that's okay.

Heahter: 21:01

Don't schedule that important meeting for seven am.

Charlie: 21:05

Right.

Heahter: 21:05

Right, like that's not when your brain's gonna be the best.

Charlie: 21:09

Yeah, yeah, so I know we actually set up our schedules differently because we work at different times. I am the early morning person on our team and so I take the early morning client stuff that goes on and morning check some things like that I like to sleep in a little bit more. Yep.

Heahter: 21:33

And then John would prefer to sleep in probably more, a little bit more than that, right.

Charlie: 21:38

So we kind of have a-, if you do like the midday Midday, and then John takes the evening breaks, right, yeah, and it works out really great because we've talked as a team and this is what works for us Right, and then we're all taking account the time we are best. Yes, yeah, yes, because, like John, is not his best at 8 am.

Heahter: 22:02

Right, I love him. At 8 am meeting you like what, what, what?

Charlie: 22:08

I'm not awake yet.

Heahter: 22:10

What did you?

Charlie: 22:10

say what did you say?

Heahter: 22:12

Let me drink this. Yeah, I need to drink that again.

Charlie: 22:17

I need my coffee drinker.

Heahter: 22:18

It's not coffee that he's drinking. It's something much more impactful. But yeah, because, as we've discovered, we all enjoy coffee a very particular way. We do, and we're very excited for coffee life.

Charlie: 22:33

We are very excited for coffee life. We're weirdos. You are gonna have to wait to hear more about our coffee life, but there's some exciting things happening for us and coffee. So, without further ado, you guys, it's always great to come together and hang out with you guys in the mornings, on Mondays or whenever time you listen to us, it really doesn't matter. But thank you for joining us for the journey of growth and discovery.

Heahter: 23:08

Thanks for being here. We love you all. Thank you for joining us and choosing and deciding how we start our weeks, whenever that week starts. Namaste, namaste, namaste.