Unveiling the Storyteller Within: A Journey through Don Miguel Ruiz's 'The Voice of Knowledge'

Strap in as we embark on a transformative journey, unveiling the craft of the storyteller within us all through the lens of Don Miguel Ruiz's enlightening book, 'The Voice of Knowledge'. This episode promises a profound exploration of Ruiz's four agreements, striking tools that will help you discard the lies you've been telling yourself and shatter agreements that don't serve you. Join us as we unveil the transformative power of words, the art of not taking things personally, and how to avoid making assumptions - all valuable tickets to personal freedom. 

We then wander into the realm of authentic expression, the pursuit of happiness, and the concept of a meaningful life. Could happiness be the catalyst for success? We'll wander through this thought-provoking concept, challenging the idea that ambition and happiness can't coexist. We'll also navigate how services like Free Time Solutions can aid in reclaiming your time and unlocking your potential, a crucial aspect in our fast-paced digital age.

Finally, we'll share some practical exercises like making a happiness list, practicing random acts of kindness, and wishing others well. These simple yet effective steps are sure to boost your happiness and success. In the grand scheme, this episode is a grand tour of life, success, and happiness. We'll challenge myths, break the chains of false agreements, and guide you towards a path of authentic expression and personal freedom. Get ready for an enlightening discussion that could potentially transform your outlook on life, success, and happiness!

Transcript

Heather Ross: 0:01

Welcome to At the Table where we are connecting entrepreneurs, discovering missions and building communities with purpose body, soul, mind and business. With Charlie and Heather, with free time solutions.

Charlie Hoffman: 0:18

Hello and good morning. Welcome to another episode of At the Table weekly reading. I'm your host, charlie. Thank you for joining us and thank you for pulling up a seat at the table, where you are always welcome to learn and grow with us. Books we are reading right now is Career, self Care by Minda Zetlin and the Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz. It's been quite a journey so far. We are changing some things up with the podcast due to the fact that we're just getting really full and busy with other obligations, so these are the last books, for now, anyway, that I'm going to be reading on the podcast. We are still going to continue reading books and reviewing them on mindset Monday, but I'm just not going to be reading them to you in addition to that. So please continue to follow along as we finish up these two amazing books and, yeah, we'll just go from there. Thank you for learning and growing with us, thank you for your flexibility and thank you for joining us at the table. We're going to go ahead and get started with Don Miguel Ruiz, the Voice of Knowledge. Don Miguel Ruiz, the Voice of Knowledge. We are on chapter nine this week.

Charlie Hoffman: 1:55

Transforming the storyteller. The four agreements is favorite tools. You have seen how you create a virtual reality, the dream of your life, and you know that your life is a story. Now, with that awareness, the question is are you happy with your story? And something important to understand is that you can be whatever you want to be, because you are the artist and your life is your creation. It's your story, it's your comedy or your drama. And if the story is changing anyway, then why not direct change with awareness? As an artist, with awareness, you can see if you like your art and you can practice making it better. Practice makes the master, but it's action that makes the difference. When I discovered this, my action was to take responsibility for my art and purify my program. As an artist, I started exploring the possibilities, every action and every reaction. And, by the way, this is our real nature to explore. Explore what life? What else can we explore?

Charlie Hoffman: 3:11

To change the story of your life is what the Toltec called the mastery of transformation. It's about transforming you, the storyteller, the dreamer. Life is changing so fast and you can see that you are always transforming. But you master transformation when you no longer resist change. Instead, you take advantages, change and you enjoy change. To master. Transformation is to live in the present moment all the time. Life is an eternal now, because the force of life is creating everything right now and it is transforming everything right now.

Charlie Hoffman: 3:51

How are you going to change your story? Well, now you know that you are creating your story according to what you believe about yourself. The way to transform what you believe about yourself is to unlearn what you have already learned. When you unlearn, your faith returns to you, your personal power increases and you can invest your faith in new beliefs. If you want to know the truth, if you are ready to take your faith out of the lies, then remember don't believe yourself and don't believe anybody else. This will give you clarity about many things, but you may need a little support to stop believing the lies and to start breaking all of the agreements that go against yourself. The four agreements offer this support. They are, just for you, the main character of your story. These four simple agreements can take you all the way to your integrity being impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best.

Charlie Hoffman: 4:57

Many tools can help you change your story, but the four agreements are my favorite tools for transformation. Why? Because they have the power to help you unlearn the many ways you have learned to use the word that gives yourself. Despite following these agreements, you challenge all of the opinions that are nothing but superstition and lies. Be impeccable with your word, because you use the word to create your story. Don't take anything personally, because you live in your own story and other people live in their own story. Don't make assumptions, because the most assumptions are not the truth, they are fiction, and when the storyteller makes up stories, especially about other storytellers, this creates a big drama. Always do your best, because this keeps the voice of knowledge from judging you and by taking action, you keep the voice from talking to you. The storyteller, the liar in your head, makes you use your word against yourself, it makes you take everything personally, it makes a lot of assumptions and it makes you fail to do your best.

Charlie Hoffman: 6:10

The first agreement be impeccable with your word is a supreme agreement, because it helps you to recognize all of the lies that rule your life. To be impeccable is to use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. The other three agreements are more support for the first agreement. They are the practice that makes the master, but the goal is the first agreement. By practicing all four agreements. The moment comes when you experience the truth and your emotional reaction is incredible.

Charlie Hoffman: 6:44

I have written a book about the four agreements and I tried to keep it as simple as possible. The book can make you feel as if you already know the four agreements, and this is true because the agreements come from the real you, and the real you is exactly the real me too. Your spirit is telling you the same thing and it's pure common sense. The book is a messenger of love. It is like an open doorway that will take you all the way to the real you, but you are the one who needs to walk the way. You need to have the courage to apply the tools to find yourself and to create your own story in your own way. You can transform your entire story just by practicing the four agreements. Let's take a closer look at each agreement.

Charlie Hoffman: 7:33

The first agreement be impeccable with your word means you never use the power of the word against yourself in the creation of your story. Impeccable means without sin. Anything you do that goes against yourself is a sin. When you believe in lies, you are using the power of the word against yourself. When you believe that nobody likes you, that nobody understands you, that you will never make it, you are using the word against yourself. Many philosophies around the world have known that lies are a distortion of the word, and some traditions call this distortion evil. I prefer to say that we are using the word against ourselves, because we do not call it evil when we judge ourselves and find ourselves guilty. We do not call it evil when we reject ourselves and treat ourselves much worse than the way we treat our pasts. When you are impeccable, you never speak against yourself, you have no beliefs that go against yourself and you never help anybody else to go against you. To be impeccable means that you don't use your own knowledge against yourself and you don't allow the voice in your head to abuse you. Maybe the first agreement be impeccable with your word makes a little more sense now.

Charlie Hoffman: 8:53

Remember the word is your power because you use the word for the creation of your virtual world. You use the word to create the main character of your story. Every self-opinion, every belief is made by words. I am smart, I am stupid, I am beautiful, I am ugly. This is powerful. But your word is even more powerful because it also represents you when you interact with other dreamers. Every time you speak, your thoughts become sound, your thought becomes the word, and now it can go into other people's minds, if their minds are fertile for that kind of seed. They eat it and know that thought lives inside of them too. The word is a force that you cannot see, but you can see the manifestation of the force, the expression of the word, which is your own life.

Charlie Hoffman: 9:46

The way to measure how you use the word is by your emotional reaction. How do you know when you are using the word impeccably? Well, you are happy, you feel good about yourself, you feel love. How do you feel when you are using the word against yourself? Well, when you are suffering with envy, with anger, with sadness, suffering all kinds of the result Suffering of all kinds is the result of misusing the word. It is the result of believing in knowledge contaminated with lies. If you clean up the word, you recover the impeccability of the word and you never betray yourself again. If you agree to be impeccable with your word, this is enough for you to return to the paradise that humans lost. It is enough to bring you back to the truth and to the transform your whole story. Be impeccable. With your word, very simple.

Charlie Hoffman: 10:45

The second agreement don't take anything personally helps you to break many lies you agree to believe in. When you take things personally, you react and feel hurt and this creates emotional poison. Then you want revenge, you want to get even and you use the word against other people. Now you know that whatever somebody projects onto you is just like Picasso saying this is you. You know that it's just the person's storyteller simply telling you a story. Not taking anything personally gives you immunity to emotional poison and all your relationships. You no longer lose control and react because you are emotionally hurt. This gives you clarity, which puts you a step ahead of other people who cannot see their own stories. The second agreement guides you in breaking hundreds of little lies until it hits the core of all of the lies in your life. When this happens, the whole edifice acknowledge collapses and you have a second chance to create another story in your own way.

Charlie Hoffman: 11:49

The toll tech call this losing the human form. When you lose the human form, you have the opportunity to choose what to believe according to your integrity. When you were a child, you used your attention to create the first dream of your life. You never had the opportunity to make a choice about what to believe. Everything you agreed to believe was imposed upon you. Now you have an opportunity you didn't have when you were a child. You can use your attention for the second time to face your story on the truth instead of on lies. The toll tech call this the dream of the second attention. I call it your second story because it's still a dream. It's still a story, but now it's your choice.

Charlie Hoffman: 12:37

When you lose the human form, you will. Your will is free again. You recover the power of your faith and what you can do with that faith has no limits. You can recreate your life in a big way if this is what you want, but the goal is not to save the world. No, the only mission that you have in life is to make yourself happy. That's it. It's that simple, and the only way you can make yourself happy is to create a story that will make you happy. Anything can happen to any of us. You cannot control what is happening around you, but you can control the way you tell the story. You can relate to the story as a big melodrama and be sad and depressed about everything that happens to you, or you can relate to the story without all the trauma.

Charlie Hoffman: 13:29

The third agreement don't make assumptions is a big ticket to personal freedom. What is going on when we make assumptions? The storyteller is making up a story. We believe the story and we've failed to ask questions that might shed some light on the truth. Most of our dream is based on assumptions, and these assumptions create a whole world of illusion that is not true at all, but we believe it. Making assumptions and then taking them personally is the beginning of hell in this world. Humans create so many problems because we make assumptions and believe they are the truth. Almost all of our conflicts are based on this. To be aware is to see what the truth is. To see everything the way it is, not the way we want it to be, to justify what we already believe. To be aware is to see what is truth. To see everything the way it is, not the way we want it to be, to justify what we already believe.

Charlie Hoffman: 14:40

The mastery of awareness is the first mastery of the Totec, and we can also call it the mastery of truth. First, you need to be aware that the voice in your head is always telling you a story. You are dreaming all the time. It is true that you perceive, but the way the storyteller justifies, explains and makes assumptions about you or what you perceive is not the truth. It's just a story. Next, you need to have awareness that the voice of the storyteller in your head is not necessarily your voice. Every concept in your head has a voice that wants to express itself. It is dreaming. It is just a story trying to catch your attention and justify its own existence. The other part of you, the part who is listening, the one who is dreaming the dream, is the one who is being abused. Finally, you need to practice awareness until you master awareness.

Charlie Hoffman: 15:35

When you master awareness as a habit, you'll always see life the way it is, not the way you want to see it. You no longer try to put things into words, to explain anything to yourself, and this keeps you from making assumptions. You only use the word to communicate with others, knowing that what you are communicating is just a point of view based on what you believe. What you believe is just a program. It's nothing but ideas that are mostly lies. That is why you need to listen and ask questions. With clear communication, people will give you all of the information you need and you won't have to make assumptions.

Charlie Hoffman: 16:16

The fourth agreement is always do your best. When you do your best, you don't give the voice of knowledge and opportunity to judge you. If the voice doesn't judge you, there's no need to feel guilty or to punish yourself. Doing your best, you are going to be productive, which means you are going to take action. Doing your best is about taking action and doing what you love to do, because it's the action that makes you happy. You are doing it because you want to, not because you have to.

Charlie Hoffman: 16:47

The best moments of your life are when you are authentic, when you are being yourself, when you are in your creation and you are doing what you love to do, you become what you really are again. You are not thinking. In that moment you are expressing. When you are doing your best in your creation, the mind stops. You are alive again, your emotions are coming out and you don't even notice how great you feel. The action. Just the action makes you feel great.

Charlie Hoffman: 17:19

When you have inaction, your mind has to have action and that is an open invitation for the voice of knowledge to talk to you. But when you are absorbed in what you are doing, the mind hardly speaks when you are creating. The voice of knowledge is not there, even if you are using the words in your art. If you are writing a poem, you are not thinking about the words you will use to write the poem. You are simply expressing your emotion. The words are the instrument. They are the code that you use for expression.

Charlie Hoffman: 17:52

If you are a musician who is playing music, there is no difference between you and the music. At the same time you are creating the music, you are the one who is enjoying every note, every sound. You become one with what you are doing and it's a supreme pleasure. Anyone who is a musician will know what I am talking about. You are expressing what you really are and this is the greatest thing that can happen to anybody. Just expressing yourself leads you into ecstasy because you are creating. This is life as an art. Doing your best is about trusting in yourself and trusting in creation the voice of life. You set a goal and go for it 100%, without any attachment to anything. You don't know if you are going to reach your goal and you don't care if you do. You go for it and when you reach the goal, it's wonderful, and if you don't reach the goal, that's wonderful too. Either way, you are complete, because love in motion is a wonderful thing.

Charlie Hoffman: 19:00

Taking action is an expression of yourself, it's the expression of the spirit and it's your creation. I encourage you to take responsibility for every decision you make in life. No decision is right or wrong. What matters is the action that follows your choice. Everything in life is just a choice. You control the dream by making choices. Every choice has a consequence, and a dream master is aware of the consequences. We can also say that for every action we experience a reaction.

Charlie Hoffman: 19:34

If your knowledge is the action and your emotions are the action, then you can see why becoming aware of the voice of knowledge is so important. The voice of knowledge is always sabotaging your happiness and the happiest moments of your life. You are playing, you are acting like a child, but the voice comes into your head and says this is too good to be true. Let's put our feet back on the ground and get back to reality, and the reality that the voice of knowledge is talking about is suffering. Life can be so wonderful. If you love yourself. If you practice doing your best, very soon it becomes a habit. When doing your best becomes a habit. Everything is set up for you to always be happy, as you were when you were a very young child.

Charlie Hoffman: 20:24

But first you need to stop the internal dialogue. This is one of the biggest miracles that many humans can experience. If you can stop the voice from talking to you, then you are almost free from being abused by all the lies. People have asked me if I encourage the use of Amantra to eliminate the internal dialogue. Well, I encourage you to use any trick that you can find to stop the chatter. There is no kitchen recipe. You can explore any number of ways until you find your own way. For some people, amantra might be the miracle. For other people, meditation, contemplation or music can be the miracle. For others, walking outdoors or just surrounding themselves with natural beauty could be the miracle. It could be dancing, yoga, running, swimming or any exercise. It's up to you.

Charlie Hoffman: 21:22

When I was a teenager, my grandfather told me music is the solution to stopping the voice in your head. Replace the voice with music, because you cannot explain music. How can you explain the Fifth Symphony of Beethoven? You can use your opinions, but you can't explain it. You need to play it. I understood what my grandfather said, but I didn't like his music. My grandfather liked classical music, so I refused that method completely. I told him I don't think so. It's boring.

Charlie Hoffman: 21:57

Of course, I was listening to music anyway, but the music I liked was the Beatles. While the lyrics were in English and I only spoke Spanish at the time, I knew every word to the songs, but the words had no meaning for me. If there was any drama in those songs, I didn't perceive it as drama. I perceived it as beauty. Listening to the Beatles really worked for me because the voices were just like another instrument and the music occupied the space, the voice of knowledge. There were times when the voice was there, but there were times when there was no voice. I liked the music so much that if I was not putting my attention on anything else, there was only music in my head. I started doing this without awareness because, although I had heard what my grandfather said, I had made the assumption that he was talking about classical music. Well, the music can be drums, trumpets or any kind of instrument, as long as there are no words in a language that you know how to hook your attention. The problem is when the music has words that have meaning to you and you can think about the words.

Charlie Hoffman: 23:10

There are many ways to quiet the mind if you just use them, but from my point of view, practicing the four agreements is the best way. These agreements have the power to break thousands of little agreements that go against yourself. But they are not as simple as they look. Many people say I understand the four agreements and they are changing my life, but at a certain point I cannot keep going. Well, you cannot keep going because in that moment you are facing a strong belief and the faith you invested in that belief is stronger than the faith you have available to change that belief. That is why it's important to practice recovering your faith with little beliefs. Then you can go for the stronger beliefs.

Charlie Hoffman: 23:54

Every time you practice the four agreements, their meaning goes a little deeper. When you read the books of four agreements for the second time or the third time, at a certain point it seems as if you are reading a different book. And it seems like a different book because you have already broken many little agreements. Now you can go a little deeper. And you go deeper and deeper until the moment comes when you open your spiritual eyes, when you finally transform. Your life becomes a masterpiece of dreaming and expression of your emotional body, just the way it was before knowledge Thanks to Ponder.

Charlie Hoffman: 24:37

The way to transform what you believe about yourself is to unlearn what you have already learned. When you unlearn, your faith returns to you, your personal power increases and you can invest your faith in new beliefs. The four agreements have the power to help you unlearn the many ways you have learned to use the word against yourself. By following these agreements, you challenge all of the opinions that are nothing but superstition and lies. Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best.

Charlie Hoffman: 25:10

When the edifice of knowledge collapses, you have a second chance to create a story according to your integrity. You can use your attention for the second time to make a story based on the truth instead of a life In the dream of the second attention, you recover the power of your faith. Your will is free again and what you can do with that has no limits. When you are absorbed in what you are doing, the mind hardly speaks. You are expressing what you really are and just the action makes it great. When there is inaction, your mind has to have action, and that is an open invitation for the voice of knowledge to talk to you. The best moments of your life are when you are authentic, when you are being yourself, when you are in your creation and you are doing what you love to do. You become what you really are again. You are not thinking. In that moment, you are expressing, your emotions are coming out and you feel great. Every time you practice the four agreements, they are meeting those deeper and deeper, until the moment comes when you open your spiritual eyes. Then your life becomes an expression of your emotional body, just the way it was before. Knowledge, chapter 22,. It's your Job to Make Yourself Happy the final chapter of this book.

Charlie Hoffman: 26:40

Years ago I interviewed the late writer Daly Donna Schwartz about her new e-book how Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, which she was giving away for free. Schwartz was one of those writers I admired quite a bit and was also slightly envious of. She had written more than a dozen books, some of them with fun titles such as All Men Are Jerks and I'll Prove In Other Ways. She made a mark for herself in the music industry because she'd been a teacher and when some of her grade school students insisted a white woman like her couldn't be a rapper. She decided to prove them wrong. She was a successful speaker something I was trying to be and she was absolutely fearless. Schwartz talked about ways that we all could and should work to make ourselves happy, from eliminating toxic people from our lives to taking a pledge to do something nice for ourselves every day. For a month, she told me that she didn't normally eat sugar but had recently taken great delight in eating a package of cookies. She talked about accepting yourself just as you are and about choosing the same upscale brands of things like coffee or soap for yourself that you would if you were buying them as gifts for a friend. Every time you use it, it's a reminder that you're worth more, she said.

Charlie Hoffman: 28:08

The column I wrote from our interview is titled 11 Simple Ways to Make Yourself Happy Every Day, and I think it has been viewed more than any other column I've written. It's been seven years since it was published, but month after month, thousands of people read it. Most of them seem to have found the piece through Google, and I love this. It suggests that lots of people out there are searching phrases like how to make myself happy or how to be happy. Those people are on the right track, so long as you don't harm anyone else. It's your job to make yourself happy as you can possibly be. I realize this is very predictable advice in a book that has self-care in its title. But whether your chief concern is your own happiness, the happiness of those around you or even making the world a better place, it's still great advice to follow. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.

Charlie Hoffman: 29:21

Sigretchen Rubin, author the Happiness Project and Happier at Home, among other books. I interviewed her because she has studied happiness and its value perhaps more than anyone else in the world. I thought about this a lot. She said what does it mean to have a duty to be happier In a world full of suffering and injustice? Some people might think trying to make yourself happy is inexcusably selfish and possibly amoral. But that's the wrong way to look at it. She explained. People who are unhappy may be defensive and isolated. In fact, research shows that happier people are more interested in the problems of other people and the problem of the world. They are more likely to vote, they're more likely to volunteer and they may give away more money. They have healthier habits, they make better team members and better leaders. They're more patient, they have a better sense of perspective and a better sense of humor.

Charlie Hoffman: 30:21

Seeking happiness truly is a win-win proposition. So how do you become happy? Hunting down happiness is more difficult than it might seem, partly because research has shown most of us are really bad at knowing beforehand what will and won't make us happy. In fact, oliver Berkman argues the best way to find happiness is not to aim for it at all, because if you do, you likely won't get there. You do have a responsibility, but it's to meaning, he says. If you get that right, something like happiness more often than not might come along for the right. I think Berkman is onto something here. Not that it's pointless to seek happiness I think it's certainly worthwhile to try but that the key to happiness may lie in living a meaningful life, whatever that is to you.

Charlie Hoffman: 31:18

In the search for happiness, pay attention to what brings meaning to your life, whether it's taking care of your family, doing what you consider to be important work or even growing rare orchids like narrow wolf. Beyond looking for meaning, there are some other powerful things you can do that can lead to a happier life. Number one be generous. A fascinating experiment conducted by researchers from Simon Fraser University in British Columbia showed that it truly is better to give than to receive, and that money actually can buy happiness If you spend it on someone else. If you spend it on someone else. In the experiment, participants were given an envelope containing either $5 or $20, and no instructing them to either spend the money on themselves that day or else spend it on either a gift for someone else or a charitable contribution. When researchers followed up with those subjects later that evening, those who had spent the money on gifts or charities were measurably happier than those who'd spent it on themselves, even though there had been no such difference before the experiment began.

Charlie Hoffman: 32:32

Humans are profoundly social creatures deeply connected to one another, whether we've realized it or not. Most of us instinctively know that being kind or generous to others makes us feel good, but we may not realize how powerful that effect is. Number two step outside your comfort zone. One way to make yourself happy that Ruben surprised her. One way to make yourself happy that Ruben said surprise her is to try new things and stretch yourself rather than stick with what you do. Well, I'm somebody who thought familiarity and mastery would make me happier. She said you would think, especially at work, that doing something you know how to do well and knowing you're doing a really good job would lead to the most happiness. But that's not how it is, she said.

Charlie Hoffman: 33:30

The research is very compelling. It shows that people are made happier with novelty and challenge, even though a lot of times when we have novelty and challenge we might feel insecure, we might feel frustrated or stupid or inefficient, we might feel scared. But when we get through these things we feel this feeling of growth that's so important to happiness. This is why Ruben, who writes rules and models for herself in different situations, uses this rule especially when making important decisions Choose the bigger life. Choosing the bigger life can mean different things to different people in different situations, but it usually entails trying something new, taking some sort of risk and possibly making a fool of yourself. All of this was in play when I went to the singing workshop described in chapter 15. I was somewhat certain before I did it, but beyond all doubt it made me happier.

Charlie Hoffman: 34:30

Number three don't let happiness be conditional. People have kind of this tomorrow policy where they think I'll be happy once, or I'll be happy if Ruben said you know the kind of thing. I'll be happy once I lose 20 pounds. I'll be happy if my spouse gets a new job. I'll be happy once I get married. The kind of thing, that kind of thinking, rarely works. Ruben said.

Charlie Hoffman: 34:57

What the research shows is that typically, when those things happen, they don't really give us the happiness boost that we anticipated ahead of time. For one thing, as we get nearer to the meeting, one of these goals are thinking of just to take it as a given, she explained. By the time we get there, we're already hanging our happiness on another conditional event, such as when our spouse gets a promotion or when we have a baby. Thus happiness becomes a destination which we never actually arrive. But even if that doesn't happen, even if finishing school or getting that promotion or finally finding the right partner really will make you happier, putting your happiness off is making very poor use of your limited time on this planet. As you're pursuing goals that will eventually give you a better life, ask yourself what can I do to make myself happier today, like right, this minute? It could be taking an app, or talking with a friend, or going dancing or something as simple as soaking in a hot bath. Whatever it is, go get it if you can. Happiness is a habit and the more you get in that habit, the more you exercise your happiness muscle, the happier you'll be later on Whether or not the thing you've been waiting for comes true.

Charlie Hoffman: 36:22

Number four don't be afraid of happiness. Why would anyone be afraid of happiness? A lot of people are, including me. At one time I was frightened that happiness equals complacency, that if I let myself be happy or took any pleasure in my own accomplishments, I would stop trying so hard. I would lose my edge. Wendy Catelyn patiently talked to me through this during an entire coaching session, explaining that I could simultaneously be both completely satisfied with the career and the life I already had and completely driven to achieve more. I know I'm not the only one to fear happiness in this way, so I asked Ruthen about it.

Charlie Hoffman: 37:06

An old boss of mine once said that ambitious people can never be happy because part is the ambition was never being satisfied, she said. I think that's a false choice. You can be ambitious and looking forward and work on your happiness as well. False choices like these can be very comforting, she said, because they allow you to disregard whole areas of your life. If you believe happiness is bad for you, as I once said, did it can be an excuse to go ahead and be miserable. You don't have to make the effort and it does take effort to deal with the things that might be dragging you down. But pitting happiness against ambition isn't a false choice. It isn't just a false choice. It's the opposite of true. When you're happier, you're more energetic and more confident. You're more likely to put yourself out there and take the kinds of risks that can advance your career. Being happier makes you a better boss and a better employee. Other people are drawn to happiness, so it can help you when you're trying to land a sale or make a pitch or go after a promotion. If you make yourself happier, you might be surprised to find you've made yourself more successful as well, and that's the whole point of this book.

Charlie Hoffman: 38:25

The notion that a successful career and a happy life are somehow at odds with each other is one of the most destructive myths plaguing us today. You may not be able to have it all, whatever that means, but you can have this a satisfying work, life, career success, ambition and growth, and a life outside of work where you care for yourself and your loved ones. All those things really matter and you are entitled to all of them. Exercises to try. Number one make a happiness list. Five years ago, when my career was going well but I wasn't feeling much joy in my life, kaplan challenged me to do this exercise and I'm glad I did. Make a list of all the things that bring you happiness, which could be anything from horseback riding, which was on my list, to talking to your kids, to baking cake, to reading mystery novels. Now see how many of these things you can fit into your daily, weekly life. It's like the most fun to do list ever.

Charlie Hoffman: 39:33

Number two try random acts of kindness. The classic random act of kindness is to pay for the car behind you at a toll booth or drive through restaurant. In one spectacular such occurrence in December 2020, 900 drivers in Brainerd, minnesota, each paid for the meal of the car behind them at a dairy queen, creating a chain of random acts that lasted until the store closed for the evening, when the final driver donated $10 to restart the process the following day. It continued for two and a half days. Random acts can be anything from picking up later to putting a candy bar in your mailbox for the letter carrier to find. Do whatever makes you happy, because, after all, that's the whole point.

Charlie Hoffman: 40:20

Number three wish others well. This exercise is something Che Minh Tan recommends for everyone, and one that he says will ultimately add to your own success. Begin by silently wishing success and happiness to the people you know and like whenever you see them. Once you have that down, expand it to acquaintances, like the person serving you behind the deli counter Over time. Expand this to include people you don't know at all, like the drivers of other cars on the highway, and eventually even to people you don't like.

Charlie Hoffman: 41:03

The idea is to create a mental habit so that whenever you see anyone, your first instinct is to wish them well. The people you meet will pick this up unconsciously. He said that will help you do better at your job, but the real benefit is to your own state of mind, because wishing happiness to others automatically makes you happier as well. Try it and you'll see. Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of At the Tables Weekly Reading so glad you joined us. I hope you take these lessons to heart and join us on mindset Monday as we talk about it, and we will see you next time, namaste.

Heather Ross: 41:50

As entrepreneurs, we have a unique opportunity to make a positive impact in the world around us. In a time when the world is shifting towards supporting local businesses and embracing community-driven initiatives, it becomes even more important for us to give where our heart leads us. At the table, we believe in the power of giving back, and that's why we have our cause of the quarter. This quarter, we are proud to support Perfect Pals, a local organization dedicated to rescuing and providing care for stray cats in our community. By supporting local causes like Perfect Pals, we not only make a difference in the lives of those in need, but we also contribute to the growth and well-being of our local community. We believe in small acts of kindness, and they can create a ripple effect of positivity, inspiring others to do the same. As we shift our focus solely from supporting large corporations to championing local businesses and giving back, we not only strengthen our community, but we also foster a sense of connection and unity. Together, we can create a thriving ecosystem where everyone can flourish. So let's follow our hearts and give where it truly matters. Join in supporting Perfect Pals and making a difference in the lives of these furry companions. Together, we can make our community a better place, one act of kindness at a time. Thank you for being part of our journey and for embracing the spirit of giving. Together, let's create a brighter future for all. Are you tired of juggling endless tasks, struggling to find time for what truly matters? We have the solution for you Introducing free time solutions, your ultimate partner in reclaiming your time and maximizing your potential. At Free Time Solutions, we specialize in helping businesses like yours thrive in a digital world. From social media management to website optimization and branding, we have the expertise to elevate your online presence and streamline your operations. Imagine having time to focus on what you love to do, what we take care of your business with our dedicated team of experts and innovative solutions. We leave you free to pursue your passions and achieve your goals. Whether you are a small business owner, entrepreneur, freelancer, we offer comprehensive services tailored to your needs. Our goal is simple to give you back time freedom to do what you do best, while we handle the rest. So join us at the table and let Free Time Solutions empower you to take control of your time and unlock your full potential. Visit our website at wwwyourfreetimebackcom that's wwwyourfreetimebackcom to learn more and schedule your consultation today. Free Time Solutions, your partner in success. Let's make the most of your free time together. Thank you for joining us at the table. Stay tuned for weekly readings on Sunday. Mindset Monday discussing our weekly readings on Monday and on Friday, our interview and, potentially, guest host. Stay tuned. As entrepreneurs, we have a unique opportunity to make a positive impact in the world around us. In a time when the world is shifting towards supporting local businesses and embracing community-driven initiatives, it becomes even more important for us to give where our heart leads us. At the table, we believe in the power of giving back and that's why we have our cause of the quarter. This quarter, we are proud to support Perfect Pals, a local organization dedicated to rescuing and providing care for stray cats in our community. By supporting local causes like Perfect Pals, we not only make a difference in the lives of those in need, but we also contribute to the growth and wellbeing of our local community.

Heather Ross: 46:43

We believe in small acts of kindness and they can create a ripple effect of positivity, inspiring others to do the same. As we shift our focus solely from supporting large corporations to championing local businesses and giving back, we not only strengthen our community, but we also foster a sense of connection and unity. Together, we can create a thriving ecosystem where everyone can flourish. So let's follow our hearts and give where it truly matters. Join in supporting Perfect Pals and making a difference in the lives of these furry companions. Together, we can make our community a better place, one act of kindness at a time. Thank you for being part of our journey and for embracing the spirit of giving. Together, let's create a brighter future for all.

Heather Ross: 47:44

Are you tired of juggling endless tasks, struggling to find time for what truly matters?

Heather Ross: 47:50

We have the solution for you Introducing Free Time Solutions, your ultimate partner in reclaiming your time and maximizing your potential.

Heather Ross: 48:02

At Free Time Solutions, we specialize in helping businesses like yours thrive in a digital world. From social media management to website optimization and branding, we have the expertise to elevate your online presence and streamline your operations. Imagine having time to focus on what you love to do while we take care of your business. With our dedicated team of experts and innovative solutions, we leave you free to pursue your passions and achieve your goals. Whether you are a small business owner, entrepreneur, freelancer, we offer comprehensive services tailored to your needs. Our goal is simple to give you back time, freedom to do what you do best while we handle the rest. So join us at the table and let Free Time Solutions empower you to take control of your time and unlock your full potential. Visit our website at wwwyourfreetimebackcom that's wwwyourfreetimebackcom to learn more and schedule your consultation today. Free Time Solutions, your partner in success. Let's make the most of your free time together. Thank you for joining us at the table. Stay tuned for weekly readings on Sunday Mindset Monday discussing our weekly readings on Monday and on Friday.

Charlie Hoffman: 49:36

Thank you for joining in on the fun. Be sure to like and subscribe for more.