Ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders, feeling overwhelmed with managing your time, balancing work, and self-care? Over a cup of coffee, join us, Charlie and Heather, as we delve into a conversation that could be the key to unlocking a happier and more productive you. We explore the power of self-care, the importance of setting boundaries, and the efficient use of time, drawing insights from Don Miguel Rees's life-changing book, The Voice of Knowledge. We share our thoughts on breaking the cycle of self-judgement and how societal labels can often influence our beliefs and actions.
In the second half of our chat, we journey into the realm of happiness and generosity, and how they can shape our personal growth. We discuss the importance of stepping outside of our comfort zone and embracing happiness in the present moment, regardless of external chaos. Also, we introduce Free Time Solutions, an ultimate partner to small business owners, entrepreneurs, and freelancers, aiming to help unlock their full potential. And as icing on the cake, we share some thrilling news about our weekly readings and upcoming interviews. So grab your headphones and join us in this enlightening episode.
Mindful Business Evolution
Heather@mindfulbusinessevotlution.com
Sponsored by FreeTime Solutions!
www.yourfreetimeback.com
You can now find Charlie@yourfreetimeback.com
Ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders, feeling overwhelmed with managing your time, balancing work, and self-care? Over a cup of coffee, join us, Charlie and Heather, as we delve into a conversation that could be the key to unlocking a happier and more productive you. We explore the power of self-care, the importance of setting boundaries, and the efficient use of time, drawing insights from Don Miguel Rees's life-changing book, The Voice of Knowledge. We share our thoughts on breaking the cycle of self-judgement and how societal labels can often influence our beliefs and actions.
In the second half of our chat, we journey into the realm of happiness and generosity, and how they can shape our personal growth. We discuss the importance of stepping outside of our comfort zone and embracing happiness in the present moment, regardless of external chaos. Also, we introduce Free Time Solutions, an ultimate partner to small business owners, entrepreneurs, and freelancers, aiming to help unlock their full potential. And as icing on the cake, we share some thrilling news about our weekly readings and upcoming interviews. So grab your headphones and join us in this enlightening episode.
Mindful Business Evolution
Heather@mindfulbusinessevotlution.com
Sponsored by FreeTime Solutions!
www.yourfreetimeback.com
You can now find Charlie@yourfreetimeback.com
Welcome to At the Table where we are connecting entrepreneurs, discovering missions and building communities with purpose body, soul, mind and business. With Charlie and Heather, with free time solutions.
Charlie Hoffman:Hello and welcome to the Table. I'm Charlie and.
Heather Ross:I'm Heather and it's Monday again. Oh wow, it keeps coming around Every week. It's feeling amazing, that it is feeling fall.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, things are starting to get a little chillier outside. Kids are back in school, for most of us anyway, and I feel like this is like the mom new year, right, this is where stay at home parents, you know the kids are in school. It's like you finally have time to refocus on what's important, and I also feel like this is a really good time to think about what self care means to you and what that looks like with your new schedule.
Heather Ross:Oh, yeah, Like that. So you know, each week we are reading a couple of books and for right now you can head over on Sundays and catch Charlie reading these to us. Yep.
Charlie Hoffman:Right now we're reading the Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Rees, and this is actually the last chapter of career self care by Linda Zeppelin. What, what, that's pretty incredible.
Charlie Hoffman:And due to time constraints. I hope you guys understand that we're getting kind of full over here in our business world, which is great for us, but that means that and that means that I have less time for other things. So, although I will still be reading the chapters of the books, continuing on myself, once I'm done reading these two books, I am going to stop recording them.
Heather Ross:Because it's a lot faster for us to read them to ourselves.
Charlie Hoffman:It is a lot faster for us to read them to ourselves than it is for me to read them to you and record that and things like that. Plus, I, when I read these chapters, I have to read it twice, right, because when I read them to you, that's usually when I read them for the first time, and then I have to go back and review what I read, because I'm so focused on reading them to you that I don't get like the full message unless I read it again for myself, which isn't, you know, good or bad. It just is, and so I just need to look at how I'm spending my self care Right Time and using my time efficiently, because right now, I feel like that's more important than it has been in a long time. So thank you for being flexible with us.
Heather Ross:Yeah, and fall is a great time to reset those schedules and putting up those boundaries and remembering what it can look like to take care of ourselves. And I love your, your philosophy about when you leave your appointment, you make your next appointment, so you don't have to, you know, worry about oh, I need to get that on the calendar later.
Charlie Hoffman:Or getting like sometimes scheduling can be a pain if you leave and then you're like, oh, I need to make that appointment again or reschedule this one or whatever, because it's just, it's just harder. It's a lot easier to take care of ourselves in one step at a time and I had been. But there were a few appointments recently that I had not scheduled because I had some other things coming up that could potentially change the change, the schedule. But what I should have done is scheduled them anyway and then rescheduled them if I had to.
Heather Ross:Is that your reflection now? That is my reflection now, because I think you just should have by accident. I did, I did so so next time when moving, you would like to.
Charlie Hoffman:I like the way it felt and the ease of mindset that scheduling my appointments before I left an appointment, scheduling the next one, and how that reduced my stress and anxiety, and I have discovered that I do not like having to reschedule appointments and make phone calls and do all that to schedule them after this act.
Heather Ross:Yeah, I don't like that. You really like the habit you are in and you can see how sometimes we were really worrying and give something space in our lives and then it's taken up the space that would have been filled with other things you would have been doing or could have still been Right.
Charlie Hoffman:So I could see there's been a few things come up.
Heather Ross:I was wondering to handle that.
Charlie Hoffman:some games so yeah, and there have been a few things come up in my schedule, but I was holding space for something else and that something else was postponed or whatever. I should have said yes. I get like in reflection, I see that I could have said yes to those things and still been fine, or just being honest and being like okay, I have this other piece that might interfere with this and I might have to move this thing, but I want you to know that I want to be there for this thing. Right, it's a lot, that was a lot.
Heather Ross:Okay, so like because it's hard not to beat ourselves up over the choices we made at the moment.
Charlie Hoffman:Right, right. So I've had some reflection things and the universe is like testing my scheduling habits.
Heather Ross:I think it's great because basically this week in Don Miguel he reminds us about the four agreements, right, and that's been a big thing for us to talk about.
Heather Ross:And again, those four agreements are to be impeccable. With your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best. And I think don't take anything personally also means, when you do something, are you taking it personally to yourself? Right? And I think I'm not going to judge myself in this weird predicament where I was like angry at myself or not feeling like anger about something else.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, Like we judge ourselves for stealing a certain way about Judging ourselves, like it's this weird circle, and then you're like you sit back and you look at it and you're like what, what is all this about? So that's kind of. What we're talking about today is when you are following your four agreements from this point of view of the voice of knowledge. Right, voice of knowledge is society's dream. It's the labels, it's all the pieces that were put on us, right? All the pieces that were put on us that aren't our truths, right, because what's true for you is not necessarily true for me. Right, and that's okay. Yeah, I see things through a world lens that's different than your world lens, that's okay.
Heather Ross:So weird to think about Sometimes it is where the curiosity always comes in right.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, and it's nice to be coming from a place of seeking to understand than from a place of judgment. Yes, which is what the four agreements has taught me how to do.
Heather Ross:Recognizing those things that are happening within yourself, right yeah. So stopping yourself from being mad about not being mad.
Charlie Hoffman:Right.
Heather Ross:I think, control that, now that I noticed it.
Charlie Hoffman:It's the noticing, it's the awareness, it's the being curious about where your emotions are coming from, and sitting back and noticing when you get upset and asking yourself the questions with curiosity, not judgment. Why am I feeling this way? Does this make any sense to me? I find personally that a lot of my fear, anger, resentment, and I find that these negative, achy feelings that I don't like anyway aren't even coming from me, right, because what is coming from me and I know this is how we all like to present ourselves to the world is love. If love is coming from me, why am I afraid?
Heather Ross:And I feel like if you understand what love feels like in your body and you've been doing that awareness piece when it doesn't come from a place from love it doesn't feel good, right.
Heather Ross:And so you do have a reaction, and I heard this last weekend was speaking the soft voice, and I know that if you don't start speaking that soft voice, the soft voice starts to get louder and louder and louder as you do this work. And then you have another unfavorable incident where you lash out at somebody with it Right, because that vibration doesn't vibe with you so much. You explode on somebody Right, and I've never experienced that, I would never do that. But you know I have. That's what I'm saying.
Charlie Hoffman:I'm not going to first thing. Guilty, right. Recently. Even I, even though I'm doing all this work and everything else, I still lose my temper, I still get frustrated, I still get in my own head about stuff, and so I ended up being late start Wednesday, right, like why, why Don't do that? So it ended up being the late start Wednesday and I had to drop my oldest off at college that day, because they really leave them out in the conference for three days and everything else.
Charlie Hoffman:So then, as I was leaving with the oldest, the youngest is at the end of the driveway with no bus, because we didn't know it was late. Start Wednesday, so I'm frustrated.
Heather Ross:Like it's only the first day of school. It's only the first day of school.
Charlie Hoffman:I haven't even made it there yet. But they forget my cat again, because that truly has been a thing where they didn't pick my kid up for school. So this is all the things going on in my head. But then it's 7am and calling the bus barn at this time is useless, so like I kept like all these things that had happened before. So that's the first case scenario. Whatever he's going to be laid on this first day school and it's you know, the bus didn't pick him up and I have to call the bus bar and you got to get your other kid to the other place at a certain time.
Heather Ross:You can all relate to this, I'm sure. So I'm frustrated.
Charlie Hoffman:I'm frustrated and I snap at the kids and my oldest she's been doing the work with me kind of. You know she's a little further behind, but doing the work with me she's like wow, mom you need to do something with this, because this isn't about any of us Like thanks for the game chat.
Charlie Hoffman:You're right okay, I'm sorry, I apologize. I'm just frustrated because now I have to do these other other things in addition to what I already had to do. It messes with my time and my time is an issue for me. Like it's a legit thing. I'm working on as time, so it's funny that we're talking about schedules today.
Heather Ross:We've been talking about scheduling and working things out, and so let's talk about some other points to ponder, because obviously we have been doing things. We're working on real things and we feel you. When you're absorbed in what you're doing, that mind hardly speaks. You are expressing what you really are and just the action makes it great. When there is inaction, your mind has to have action and that is the open invitation for the voice of knowledge to talk to you. So, basically, keeping yourself busy.
Charlie Hoffman:Focused, focused. Focused Focused you mean not like earlier.
Heather Ross:My brain has been all over the place.
Charlie Hoffman:I was like, oh boy, you ever have somebody start talking to you in the middle of a sentence. With no context.
Heather Ross:All day. Like every time I opened my mouth, it was the middle of, and I'm like A story.
Charlie Hoffman:It was frustrating. What are we talking about? I was like oh, I really really tried Take it Sorry. Right, because you had that still small voice narrating everything else in your head already.
Heather Ross:Yeah.
Charlie Hoffman:It was all just. Yeah, I do it all the time too. It's fine.
Heather Ross:So being in the moment, right being in the moment, being focused on what's in front of you, right it's happening.
Charlie Hoffman:Because all that happened? Because you were so focused on what you were working on and then you had to, like, ask me a question or say something out loud. That's great. Yes, the sentence actually started in the middle somewhere.
Heather Ross:Totally not helpful. The best moments in your life are when you are authentic, when you are being yourself.
Charlie Hoffman:Absolutely.
Heather Ross:When you're in your creation and doing what you love to do, you become what you really are. You are not thinking. In the moment you are expressing, your emotions are coming out and you feel great.
Charlie Hoffman:Right, because that's what happened over there.
Heather Ross:Yes, absolutely.
Charlie Hoffman:So they're having a great time at work.
Heather Ross:She's just be bopping all over the place doing the things. So I encourage you, if you have not read the four agreements, to pick yourself up a copy. To go back and listen to Book Week Audibulling Audibles. You can find it on YouTube. You can re-listen to a season of the podcast or re-read it. There's many ways to absorb more information about the four agreements, because it's life changing.
Charlie Hoffman:It is life changing. And, speaking of life changing, the topic that we talk about, which is the last chapter in career self-care. Today, it's your job to make yourself happy. Your job to make you happy.
Heather Ross:In career self-care. The last chapter is it's your job to make yourself happy, Right.
Charlie Hoffman:Your job, Not anybody else's. You have responsibility over you yourself and you 100%. When I realized that it's my job to make myself happy and not my husbands, not my kids, definitely not my parents, not my dog, but it's my job to make me happy I was like, okay, I can do this because I'm worth it.
Heather Ross:Because maybe you're worth it, maybe no, but and I like the way she talks about it in this chapter is reminding yourself that you are worth it and I. So you know, when you make the time in your schedule it's not a I have to do this thing, is, oh, I'm so worth doing this thing Right, and having that mindset of love towards yourself. That's the game changer. It's the game changer. So it doesn't matter if that's like just resting on, you know, taking some rest time. You're worth that. It's not that you're being lazy or doing nothing. You're taking rest time and taking care of yourself, or going to get your nails done Right and taking the time to get your hair done.
Charlie Hoffman:These things? Yeah, they make a difference From the inside out, right, yeah, so some of the ideas that she gives people to help them feel or be happier is what the generous? There's been hundreds of studies about how being generous and helping somebody else out actually makes you feel really really good, and I had an experience about this a couple of weeks ago. I was with a friend supporting her on a really really hard day for her, but in that moment I knew exact that was exactly what I was meant to do that day, even though I could have done anything else literally anything else, but I was meant to be there with her that day.
Heather Ross:And what is it I'm being?
Charlie Hoffman:generous with my time.
Heather Ross:And I'm part of her, and when I sing somebody is such a gift yeah, because not only does it validate them, but it also validates your experiences as well, yeah, so that's such a way to be generous.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, yeah, so generosity doesn't have to be about money or gifts or stuff. It can be about time, patience, being present with somebody.
Heather Ross:Right, that's that's changing, because that's like a piece that's definitely overlooked. So much the being witnessed.
Charlie Hoffman:And even though I was supporting her that day, I knew exactly that that was exactly where I needed to be and it made me feel really good that I was able to hold that space for her that day.
Heather Ross:Right, right.
Charlie Hoffman:Anyway. The second one is step outside of your comfort zone. Okay, stepping outside of your comfort zone can make you happy, because there's this stagnation that happens when we're in our comfort zone. Right, it's the same old same old, you get complacent with something.
Heather Ross:You might bother you that something's out of place. But if you don't do something about it and make a change, it just stays there and you're comfortable with it being off kilter Right. But when you make the change to straighten something up and it creates that change and movement, then growth occurs Right.
Charlie Hoffman:Right, I had an experience with this one recently.
Heather Ross:I always have something. It's that magic of reading these books and really doing the work with it. There's something comes up, right?
Charlie Hoffman:That number three is don't let happiness be conditional. I'll be happy when, or I'll be happy if practice being happy right now, where you're at, with all the chaos that's going on in your life, right, because we all have a little chaos in our lives. It keeps things fun and interesting. Just look at it like you know. Is it an adventure? Find this joy. Yeah, how are you talking about it, isn't it adventure? When I started talking about some of my kids' phases and things being an adventure instead of oh, this is what we're doing today.
Charlie Hoffman:It changed the perspective and it brought more joy.
Heather Ross:And it brings more joy too, because then you're also acknowledging that you're moving into a different phase right. Because sometimes that's part of it, because like there's almost this like grief for the old, yeah, and so sometimes part of that grief process is letting go, and then great things happen, mm-hmm.
Charlie Hoffman:Number four is don't be afraid of happiness, which I think is probably one of the most important ones. Is we hold ourselves back from happiness because we're afraid of what might, could, what if.
Heather Ross:Well, or even in both sides of that, like afraid to move forward but also afraid to let go. Yeah.
Charlie Hoffman:Because sometimes it's, it.
Heather Ross:What if this is all there is to life? What if you know and kind of get stuck in that? But it's so amazing what happens when you are stepping forward in the face.
Charlie Hoffman:Right, yeah, when you let go of the things that are no longer serving you, even if it's things, even if it's people, unfortunately, sometimes yeah, sometimes yeah. And moving forward into your truths, okay, exercise is to try this week is make a happiness list.
Heather Ross:I like this because you can make a list so that when you're like I have no idea and I need to make you know I need to practice my practice of happiness, and you can go to the list and be like, oh, I can go for a walk or I could go stand in the sun for five minutes or and one of the practices that I started doing with my son.
Charlie Hoffman:When he would come at like very negatively because you know teenagers and hormones but he would say something really negative, like I hate myself or something like that, and I would counter that and be like tell me three things you like about yourself. And sometimes it's like I like the color of my eyes. You know sometimes he couldn't think of anything for himself, but he's like I like my cat.
Heather Ross:I like my bed. We did it more with gratitude, like tell me five things you're grateful for right now. Yeah, we've done that too. Yeah, just like focusing so many more times, focusing on the gratitude, we're not positive. Yeah, we're not positive.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, we're so inundated with negativity from media all day long. It's really important that we pay attention to that and feed more positivity than negativity into it. Yes, it's like you know, you take a cup right. You take a cup, you put in a screen full of dirt, right? We've seen this on social media. Yeah, you stir it up and you can't really get all the dirt out because it's in there, it's stopped. That's how our thoughts endure our minds, right? And we can't clean it all out unless we pour in all more good stuff until it washes out, right? So we have to keep pouring in the good stuff, make sure water back.
Heather Ross:Thank you, water, you mean a lot today.
Charlie Hoffman:Number two is try a random act of kindness.
Heather Ross:This is huge and with the holidays coming up, there's so much opportunity for you to do this. So some things I've done in the past would be just to make out Christmas cards and go give them out to random people. Oh, like, right, like, but because you know, life may not be awesome at the moment, but I can make someone else's day better, right, right. And then and I feel like that feeds into that season the energy season that we want, we want that hallmark energy, right, right, we want that and that just makes your soul feel good.
Heather Ross:Right, right, and you don't know whose day you're impacting, because it is literally a random act of kindness, right, but how much joy does that bring you to?
Charlie Hoffman:That's rad, it's pretty rad, yeah, and you have to watch others. Well, like Heather said, we've been out cards for Christmas Nice, and that has a kick right now Every person.
Heather Ross:He's like have a nice day, have a nice day to every person. It's pretty fun. But it's really cool too, because nobody is really like grumpy with it, Right.
Charlie Hoffman:One of the things that I have been saying, instead of saying oh thank you, you know, because that's it's kind of almost dismissive. Anyway, you know, you want to say thank you, but it's such a habit for people that it's almost dismissive. So I've changed it to I appreciate you.
Heather Ross:That's so powerful, Because it's more personal, I think after working in some checker type positions. You know, when you stroll into the gas station at 10 o'clock at night and the guy's still there, you know I'm like I really appreciate you for being here.
Charlie Hoffman:Thank you you know like you're like you can feel gas on my way. Oh right you can feel.
Heather Ross:You can feel the appreciation versus somebody strolling in there and being a by-law.
Charlie Hoffman:Thank you, right, yeah, or just saying thank you, I don't know if I have to go, because that's so normal Right.
Heather Ross:Right, they're like whatever, but when you're like, I appreciate you and you're kind of like looking them in the eye like dude, thank, you Right, right.
Charlie Hoffman:And another thing, last thing I want to say before we turn this off, because I feel in my heart that this needs to be shared is that if you feel an inkling to say hi to somebody, or wish somebody a good day or help them get their groceries in the car, whatever it may be, just do it, because to me that's the universal signal, that vibration, that heart-to-heart connection with another human Right. Maybe they need your help that day, maybe they need your encouragement in that moment. You never know.
Heather Ross:You just don't know what someone else is going through and you may be getting that nudge because it's something you've gone through too. You never know what.
Charlie Hoffman:It's quite amazing the overlap experiences we have as humans, but because we're not talking to each other and having those moments, we're not sharing that and because we've been taught not to listen to that inner voice, that intuition that tells us to connect with this other human. Right, we are taught not to listen to that. You know even from as a little kid. Don't talk to strangers, Right? How do you meet people?
Heather Ross:It's a very confusing message. Right, it is. So then, what do you trust? Well, I'm supposed to trust this creepy dude that you've picked out? But this person feels meant to say for me.
Charlie Hoffman:Cool.
Heather Ross:So cool thing. Another podcast.
Charlie Hoffman:I think that's why kindergarten is such a pivotal point for kids is because you go from the safety of your home and your kids saying, telling you not to talk to strangers and everything else, and then you and 12 other little strangers get put in a room with this adult that's telling you what to do with who's also a stranger, and you're supposed to do what they say. It's weird, right? So there's this whole struggle with the truth. What is true for them? Starting like just with that, just with the truth.
Heather Ross:And then you're just going into kindergarten and feeling terrifying.
Charlie Hoffman:I don't know man.
Heather Ross:Oh, man, right, Like your littles.
Charlie Hoffman:If you have like your bigs, if you have bigs, hug them all and just share love with other humans Go for things.
Heather Ross:Thank you so much for joining us today, we love you.
Heather Ross:As entrepreneurs, we have a unique opportunity to make a positive impact in the world around us. In a time when the world is shifting towards supporting local businesses and embracing community driven initiatives, it becomes even more important for us to give where heart leads us at the table. We believe in the power of giving back and that's why we have our cause of the quarter. This quarter, we are proud to support perfect pals, a local organization dedicated to rescuing and providing care for stray cats in our community. By supporting local causes like perfect pals, we not only make a difference in the lives of those in need, but we also contribute to the growth and well being of our local community. We believe in small acts of kindness, and they can create a ripple effect Of positivity, inspiring others to do the same. As we shift our focus solely from supporting large corporations to championing local businesses and giving back, we not only strengthen our community, but we also foster a sense of connection and unity. Together, we can create a thriving ecosystem where everyone can flourish. So let's follow our hearts and give where they, where you are. So let's follow our hearts and give where they, where it truly matters. Join in supporting perfect pals and making a difference in the lives of these furry companions. Together, we can make our community a better place, one act of kindness at a time. Thank you for being part of our journey and for embracing the spirit of giving. Together, let's create a brighter future for all.
Heather Ross:Are you tired of juggling endless tasks, struggling to find time for what truly matters? We have the solution for you Introducing Free Time Solutions, your ultimate partner in reclaiming your time and maximizing your potential. At Free Time Solutions, we specialize in helping businesses like yours thrive in a digital world. From social media management to website optimization and branding, we have the expertise to elevate your online presence and streamline your operations. Imagine having time to focus on what you love to do, what we take care of your business With our dedicated team of experts and innovative solutions. We leave you free to pursue your passions and achieve your goals.
Heather Ross:Whether you are a small business owner, entrepreneur, freelancer, we offer comprehensive services tailored to your needs. Our goal is simple to give you back time and freedom to do what you do best, while we handle the rest. So join us at the table and let Free Time Solutions empower you to take control of your time and unlock your full potential. Visit our website at wwwyourfreetimebackcom. That's wwwyourfreetimebackcom to learn more and schedule your consultation today. Free Time Solutions your partner in success. Let's make the most of your free time together. Thank you for joining us at the table. Stay tuned for weekly readings on Sunday Mindset Monday discussing our weekly readings on Monday and on Friday, our interview and potentially guest host. Stay tuned.
Charlie Hoffman:Thank you for joining in on the fun. Be sure to like and subscribe for more.