Discovering Unconditional Love, Self-Worth, and Effective Time Management

Ever wondered why loving yourself is the first step to gaining self-respect and experiencing unconditional love? This episode might just be your answer! We weave a tale of self-love, explaining how accepting our own selves can bring profound happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Discover the power of love as the ultimate tool for scripting your life's narrative. Let's unravel the magic of unconditional love that we can share with ourselves and our children, fostering respect and confidence.

Do you find yourself questioning if love is genuinely being offered or if it's just a form of manipulation? We've got you covered. We dive deep into recognizing genuine love, distinguishing it from the lies we often tell ourselves about love's potential to hurt us. In this enlightening discussion, we challenge these narratives and guide you on how to cultivate self-respect and self-worth, the building blocks of healthier relationships.

Lastly, let's talk business! For all the small business owners, entrepreneurs, and freelancers, time is precious. We introduce Free Time Solutions, a service designed to help you reclaim your time freedom. This insightful conversation could be the catalyst to not only improving your professional life, but also your personal relationships and self-perception. Join us on this exciting journey enveloping love, self-worth, and time management. Let's take these steps together towards a life full of love and happiness!

Transcript

Heather Ross: 0:01

Welcome to At the Table when we are connecting entrepreneurs, discovering missions and building communities with purpose Body, soul, mind and Business with Charlie and Heather, with Free Time Solutions.

Charlie Hoffman: 0:16

Good morning and welcome to the Table. I'm Charlie, your host, and this is another episode of this Week's Weekly Reading. Last week we finished Career Self-Care by Minda Zatlin and this week we are continuing on with not Miguel Ruiz's the Voice of Knowledge. Once I complete this book, I will no longer be recording the weekly reading for you guys. However, you can still join us on the podcast as we learn and grow and keep moving forward. We are still going to be reading some books and sharing what we learned from you. We just won't be doing the actual reading with you.

Charlie Hoffman: 0:58

I hope you understand that that life is getting very full and time is very valuable. So thank you for growing and shifting with us and joining us as we continue with the Voice of Knowledge this week and the first books that we are going to be reading once we finish the Voice of Knowledge. As we finish the Voice of Knowledge, we're going to read Love, people, use Things, but I'm not going to read this on here and then, when we're done with the Voice of Knowledge, we are going to be reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, so really excited to get into those. I've been wanting to read some Tolle or Tolle, depending on how you pronounce his name for a long time, and I have a few books on my shelf and I'm really excited to be sharing what I learned when I read with you.

Charlie Hoffman: 2:09

But, without further ado, let's get started with this week's weekly reading of the Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel, please. We are on chapter 10 this week. Writing our story with love Light is an ongoing romance. What is the best way to write your life story? There is only one way, and that way is with love.

Charlie Hoffman: 2:37

Love is the material I use to write my story, because love comes directly from my integrity, from what I really am. I love the main character of my story and main character loves and enjoys every secondary character. I am not afraid to tell you I love you. Your mind may say how can you love me when you don't even know me? I don't need to know you, I don't need to justify my love. I love you because this is my pleasure. I love coming out of love. Coming out of me makes me happy and it's not important if you reject me, because I don't reject myself In my story. I live in an ongoing romance and everything is beautiful. For me to live in love is to be alive again. It is to return to your integrity, to what you were before knowledge. When you recover your integrity, you always follow love. You live your life as an eternal romance because when you love yourself.

Charlie Hoffman: 3:47

It is easy to love everybody else. You feel so good just being by yourself, and when you gather with other people it's because you want to share your happiness. You love so much that you don't need anybody's love to make you happy. But this doesn't mean that you don't accept love. Of course you accept love. You accept good food, good wine, good music why not good love? If you can see yourself as an artist and you can see that your life is your own creation, then why not create the most beautiful story for yourself? It's your story and it's just a choice. You can write a story based on love and romance, but that love has to begin with yourself.

Charlie Hoffman: 4:35

I suggest that you start a brand new relationship between you and yourself. You can have the most wonderful romantic love relationship, and the way to have it is by changing your agreements. One agreement you can make is to treat yourself with respect. Introduce the agreements of self-respect and tell the voices in your head. It's time for us to respect each other. Many of the judgments will end there and most of the self-rejection will end there too. Then you can allow the voice to talk, but the dialogue will be much better. You will have all of these great ideas, these great dialogues in your head and when you express them to other people, they will love what you are saying. You will find yourself smiling and having fun, even when you are just by yourself. You can see why the relationship with yourself is so important.

Charlie Hoffman: 5:42

When you have a conflict with yourself, when you don't like yourself or, even worse, when you hate yourself, the internal dialogue is contaminated with poison. And that is the way you talk to yourself. When you love yourself, even if the voice of knowledge is in your head, it is nice to you. When you love yourself, when you are kind to yourself, that is a good relationship with yourself. Then every relationship you have will improve.

Charlie Hoffman: 6:15

But it always begins with yourself. How can we expect to be kind when we speak with other people if we are not kind to ourselves? We have the need to express what we feel and we express our emotions through our voice. If we don't feel good, if we are full of emotional poison, we need to release it. That is why we have the need to curse, to release all of the emotion that are trapped in our head. If we have anger or jealousy that needs to come out, our words will carry those emotions. If the voice of knowledge is abusing us, then that voice will treat others the same way. If we are having fun with ourselves, that is what we project to the outside.

Charlie Hoffman: 7:02

The first step toward improving your relationship with yourself is to accept yourself just the way you are. You don't need to learn how to love yourself. You need to unlearn all of the reasons why you reject yourself. And by nature, you love yourself. You love not being the image you project or the way you are, but you love yourself because of what you are. Then you start to enjoy yourself until you love yourself so much that you give yourself everything you need. You don't leave yourself until last anymore. The more you enjoy the presence of yourself, the more you enjoy your life and the more you enjoy the presence of everyone around you. When you love, you honor and respect life. When you live your life with love, honor and respect, the story you create is an ongoing romance.

Charlie Hoffman: 7:57

To love life is to enjoy every manifestation of life, and it is effortless. It is easy, as inhaling and exhale. To breathe is the greatest need of the human body and air is the greatest gift. You can be so grateful for the air that just to breathe is enough to love. How can you show your gratitude for the gift of air? By enjoying every breath. When you focus on that enjoyment, you can make it a habit to enjoy the air and you can enjoy it at least 17 or 18 times per minute. Just to breathe is enough to always be happy, to always be in love. But this is just one direction that love can take.

Charlie Hoffman: 8:43

Every activity of our life can become a ritual of love. We have the need for food and we can do the same thing with food that we do with air. Food is also love and when we enjoy our food, when we really taste it and feel the texture, it is one of the most sensual experiences we can have. There is so much love in the action of eating and if we use a new mantra every time we eat, we increase the pleasure. The mantra is just one sound. If we practice loving our food every time we eat, soon it becomes a habit, it becomes a ritual that we use to give our thanks, to express our love and to receive love without resistance.

Charlie Hoffman: 9:28

Communication can be another way to express our love. Every time we share our story or listen to another person's story, we can practice sharing our love. One of the assignments I used to give my apprentices was to find at least a thousand different ways of saying I love you in one week. When you practice all these different ways of saying I love you, your heart opens completely to hear the whole of creation telling you I love you. And you don't need to justify or explain that love. We just receive love and give love without even trying to understand or make a story about it. When you have the courage to open your heart completely to love, a miracle happens. You start perceiving the reflection of your love and everything. Then eating, walking, talking, singing, dancing, showering, working, playing everything you do becomes a ritual of love. When everything becomes a ritual of love, you are no longer thinking, you are feeling and enjoying life. You find pleasure in every activity you do because you love to do it. Just to be alive is wonderful and you feel intensely happy.

Charlie Hoffman: 10:39

People have asked me Miguel, are you happy all the time? Don't you ever get cranky? Well, to be cranky is completely normal. Sometimes I'm cranky when I don't get enough sleep. If I only sleep two hours in the night, I don't feel good. When I awaken, I feel raw. But raw is not directed toward anybody. Why should I be unkind to anybody just because I'm feeling bad and my body is telling me I want to sleep more? If, in that moment, I cannot satisfy my body, I finish doing whatever I have to do and then I take my body to a bed and put my body to sleep. I have the right to feel cranky, but that doesn't mean I'm going to hurt my beloved or my children or my friends. For the people who work for me, if we are selfish and we feel cranky, then we believe that nobody has the right to be happy around us. Then we say why are you laughing when I feel so bad? This is nothing but selfishness, and we are selfish with others because we are selfish with ourselves. Whatever we feel for ourselves, we project on to others. The way we treat ourselves is the way we treat others.

Charlie Hoffman: 11:53

Writing your story with love is so easy to do. Why make it complicated and difficult when love is your true nature? By not being what you are, you resist love and you are afraid to love because you believe one of the biggest lies and that lie is love hurts. As I said before, love doesn't hurt. Love gives us pleasure, but you can even use love to hurt yourself. Someone may really love you, but you didn't appreciate that love. Because you are hearing your own lies, you can say what does that person want from me? He wants to take advantage of me. Who knows what the storyteller will tell you. If you don't perceive love, if you cannot recognize love, it's because you only recognize the poison inside you. I am responsible for what I say, but I am not responsible for what you understand. I can give you my love, but you can make the interpretation that you are receiving judgments or who knows? Only your storyteller knows.

Charlie Hoffman: 12:56

When we no longer believe our own stories, we find it so easy to enjoy one another. Humans are made for love. Our knowledge was easy to open our heart to love and we just walked away from whatever was not love. But with the voice of knowledge in our head, we walk away from love and we go for what is not love. We always have a choice and if we love ourselves, we choose love. We do not allow ourselves to be hurt by accepting other people's opinions or abuse. If other people abuse us, they are abusing us because we stay there, because we allow that to happen, and if we stay, it's because we believe that we deserve the abuse and we are using them for self-punishment. If we don't have awareness, we blame, when the solution is not to blame. The solution is to step aside and not be there.

Charlie Hoffman: 13:52

Can you believe someone who says I love you and then treats you with disrespect and emotional violence? How can someone say I love you when that person wants to control your life, to tell you what you have to do, what you have to believe? How can someone claim to love you and then give you emotional garbage, jealousy and envy? How can we tell someone I love you and then send all our opinions against the person we love and try to make that person suffer? I have to tell you what is wrong with you. Because I love you, I have to judge you, find you guilty and punish you. Because I love you, I have to make you wrong all the time and make you feel like you are good for nothing. Because I love you and because you love me, you have to put up with my anger, with my jealousy, with all my stupidity. Do you think this is love? This is non-love, this is nothing but selfishness and we call it love and we say love hurts, but we are hurting ourselves with our own lies.

Charlie Hoffman: 14:54

All of the struggle in romantic relationships is just nonsense. It's not love, and that is why people are starving for love. When you are needy, this is what you share in a relationship. But when you are open to love, you receive love, and if it's not love, you don't have to be there. You are open to receiving love, but you are not open to receiving abuse. You are not open to being blamed. You are not open to receiving anybody's poison because your mind is no longer fertile ground for that.

Charlie Hoffman: 15:27

When you love and respect yourself, there is no way you can ever allow anybody to disrespect or dishonor you. Many people come to me and say, gosh, I want someone who loves me. I want the right man or the right woman to come into my life. Who is the right man or the right woman? It's not about them, it's about you. If that person comes into your life and you treat that person the way you treat yourself, which means with selfishness, then you are going to use that person to hurt yourself. How can we want a romantic relationship when we don't even like ourselves? How can we pretend to love somebody else when we don't love ourselves, when you feel unworthy. When you don't respect yourself, you don't respect your partner either. If you don't honor yourself, how can you honor your partner? How can you give anything that you don't have for yourself?

Charlie Hoffman: 16:25

The most beautiful and romantic relationship has to begin with you. You are responsible for one half of the relationship your half. When you respect yourself, you respect your beloved. When you honor yourself, you honor your beloved and you give love to accept love. You give love and accept love. But when you are full of poison, this is what you give. When you abuse yourself, you want to abuse your beloved. It's just nonsense. When you hear people's stories, including your own, you hear nothing but lies. But behind the story, everything is love, which means everything, and everybody is divine. You are divine, you are perfect, but as an artist, you create your own story and you have the illusion that your story is real. You live your life by justifying that story. And by justifying the story, you are wasting your life.

Charlie Hoffman: 17:19

As I've said before, life is very short. You don't know if your children or your friends or your beloved will still be here tomorrow. Just imagine that your opinion is so important that you have a big fight with your partner or your child. You lose control because all of the lies you believe and you really hurt your loved one. The next day you discover that your loved one is dead. How will you feel about telling your loved one all of those things you didn't really mean? Our life is so short that every time I see my children, I enjoy them as much as I can. Whenever I can. I enjoy my beloved, my family, my friends, my apprentices, but mainly I enjoy myself because I am with myself all the time. Why should I spend my precious time with myself, judging myself, rejecting myself, creating guilt and shame? Why should I punish, push myself to be angry or jealous If I don't feel good emotionally? I find out what is causing it and I fix it. Then I can recover my happiness and keep going with my story.

Charlie Hoffman: 18:30

When you write your story with love, you love the main character unconditionally. That is the biggest difference between the old story based on lies and the new story based on love. When you love yourself unconditionally, you justify and explain everything you perceive through the eyes of love. When that new main character hooks your attention, your attention is focused on love. Now it is easy to love all the secondary characters of the story unconditionally, because that is the nature of the new main character. This is wisdom. It is simple common sense and it's the goal of all the different traditions and religions around the world. Love is so simple, so easy and wonderful, but love begins with you. Every relationship improves when you love yourself and live with awareness of your love. Few people know how to love with awareness, but everybody knows how to love without awareness. When you love without awareness, you don't even notice that it's love. You're feeling. You see a little child smiling at you and you feel something for that child. This is love. But of course, the voice of knowledge tells you that it's not love. You love so many times and you don't even notice that you love.

Charlie Hoffman: 20:05

Love and respect are what we should also teach our children, but the only way to teach them love and respect is to love and respect ourselves. There's no other way. Again, we can only give what we have, not what we don't have. I can only share what I know. I cannot tell you anything that I don't know. My parents taught me what they learned from their parents. How could they teach me something different? They could not do better than that. I cannot blame my parents for the programming I received. I cannot blame my teachers for the training I received in school. They did their best. It was the only thing they knew and they passed it on to the next generation.

Charlie Hoffman: 20:47

The only chance to break the chain of lies is to change the adults, to change ourselves. Children are very aware they learn from what we do. They learn what they see, not just what we say. We tell them never lie to anybody. Later somebody is knocking on the door and we say tell them I'm not here. Whatever we do at home, the way we behave, the way we treat one another is what our children learn. If we are never at home, that becomes normal behavior for them when they grow up. They are not at home either and their children are alone. The way we speak is the way they speak. If we curse at home, they curse too. If they receive violence, they deliver violence. If we fight and share our anger and our poison, the children learn that this is the normal way of being and this is how they learn to write their own stories. But if there is respect and honor at home, if there is love at home, this is what they learn by changing ourselves, by loving ourselves, the message we deliver to our children carries the seeds of love and truth. These seeds go into our children and these seeds can change their lives. Imagine how our children will grow up when we share with them the seeds of love instead of the seeds of fear, judgment, shame or blame. Imagine how they will grow up when we finally respect them as humans just like us and we don't try to break their integrity because we are bigger and stronger. Imagine when we teach our children to be secure in themselves and to have their own voice. Imagine how everything will change if we bring respect to any relationship.

Charlie Hoffman: 22:40

People have asked why I don't work with children and the reason is because they have parents. It doesn't matter what I tell children, it is undone by their parents. I prefer to teach parents and teachers because our children learn from them. Our future as a human race depends on children. Children will take our place one day and we are training them to be like us. Just imagine if your parents had told you a different story when you were a child. Your life story would be completely different. But you can still change your story and if you have children, the only way to change their story is to change your own To love is so easy.

Charlie Hoffman: 23:19

It's not work at all. But we have so much work to do, and that work is to unlearn all of the lies that we believe. Unlearning lies is not easy because we feel safe with our lies, we are very attached to them. But the more we practice seeing the truth, the easier it becomes to detach from our lies. Transforming our life gets easier with practice and our life gets better and better the more love we have, the more love we can share and receive. To give to one another and receive from one another is purpose of a relationship. We don't need a lot of words when we share time with someone. What is important is to communicate with feelings, not with words. But if we want to share words, we don't need anything complicated. It's just three words I love you. That's it. What makes you happy is not the love that other people feel for you, but the love you feel for other people.

Charlie Hoffman: 24:16

Once we experience love, we can't find the words to explain what we really feel, but to love is the greatest experience that any of us can have. To experience love is to experience God. It is to experience heaven right here and now, when the voice of knowledge is no longer hooking our attention. Our perception becomes wider. We start perceiving our own emotional reactions and we start perceiving other people's emotional reactions. Then we start perceiving the emotions that come from the trees, from the flowers, from the clouds, from everything. We see love coming from everywhere, even from other people.

Charlie Hoffman: 24:56

At a certain point, we are simply in ecstasy and there are no words to explain it, because there are no agreements yet about how to explain it. What we call love is something that is so generic that it's not even what love really is. Love is much more than words can describe. As I said before, we cannot really talk about the truth. We need to experience the truth. The same is true for love. The only way to really know love is to experience love, to have the courage to jump into the ocean of love and perceive it in its totality. That is the only way, but we are programmed with so much fear that we don't see the love coming from all around us.

Charlie Hoffman: 25:39

We look for love in other people when they don't love themselves. Of course, we won't find love there. We only find selfishness and a war of control. You don't have to search for love. Love is here because God is here. The force of life is everywhere.

Charlie Hoffman: 25:57

We humans create the story of separation and we search for what we believe we don't have. We search for perfection, for love, for truth, for justice, and we search and search when everything is inside of us. Everything is here. We just need to open our spiritual eyes to see it. There is nothing you need to do to improve what you really are. The only thing left for all of us to do is to create a beautiful story and enjoy a better life.

Charlie Hoffman: 26:26

How do you create a beautiful story? By being authentic. When the main character is authentic, it is easy to write your story with integrity, with common sense, with love. Life is the greatest gift that we receive and the art of living is the greatest art. How do you master the art of living? Practice makes the master. It's not about learning. It's about taking action and practicing your art as an artist. If you practice love and you keep practicing and practicing, the moment comes when everything you do is an expression of your love. How will you know when you have mastered love? When the story of you tell yourself is an ongoing romance Points to ponder.

Charlie Hoffman: 27:12

The best way to write your story is with love. Love is the material that comes directly from your integrity, from what you really are. When you introduce the agreement of self-respect, many self-judgements end there and most of the self-rejection ends there too. Then you can allow the voice to talk, but the dialogue is much better. You find yourself smiling and having fun even when you are just by yourself, when you enjoy the presence of yourself. You love yourself not because of the way you are, but because of what you are.

Charlie Hoffman: 27:51

The more you love yourself, the more you enjoy your life and the more you enjoy the presence of everyone around you. Every activity of your life can become a ritual of love Eating, walking, talking, working, playing. When everything becomes a ritual of love, you are no longer thinking, you are feeling. Just to be alive makes you intensely happy. When you love yourself unconditionally, you justify and explain everything you perceive through the eyes of love. Your attention is focused on love, and this makes it easy to feel unconditional love for all of the secondary characters in your story. The only way to know love is to experience love, to have the courage to jump into the ocean of love and perceive it in its totality. Once you experience love, you can't find the words to explain what you feel, but you see love coming from everyone, from everything, from everywhere. Thank you again for joining us for this week's Weekly Reading. Again, I'm Charli, your host. Don't forget to join us as we discuss the topics we read in the books on Mindset Money. We'll see you next time. You have a nice day.

Heather Ross: 29:29

Why we have Our Cause Of the Quarter. This quarter, we are proud to support Perfect Pals, a local organization dedicated to rescuing and providing care for stray cats in our community. By supporting local causes like Perfect Pals, we not only make a difference in the lives of those in need, but we also contribute to the growth and well-being of our local community. We believe in small acts of kindness, and they can create a ripple effect of positivity, inspiring others to do the same. As we shift our focus solely from supporting large corporations to champion local businesses and giving back, we not only strengthen our community, but we also foster a sense of connection and unity. Together, we can create a thriving ecosystem where everyone can flourish. So let's follow our hearts and give where they, where it truly matters. Join in supporting Perfect Pals and making a difference in the lives of these furry companions. Together, we can make our community a better place, one act of kindness at a time. Thank you for being part of our journey and for embracing the spirit of giving. Together, let's create a brighter future for all.

Heather Ross: 30:54

Are you tired of juggling endless tasks, struggling to find time for what truly matters? We have the solution for you Introducing free time solutions, your ultimate partner in reclaiming your time and maximizing your potential. At free time solutions, we specialize in helping businesses like yours thrive in a digital world. From social media management to website optimization and branding, we have the expertise to elevate your online presence and streamline your operations. Imagine having time to focus on what you love to do, what we take care of your business With our dedicated team of experts and innovative solutions. We leave you free to pursue your passions and achieve your goals.

Heather Ross: 31:45

Whether you are a small business owner, entrepreneur, freelancer, we offer comprehensive services tailored to your needs. Our goal is simple to give you back time freedom to do what you do best, while we handle the rest. So join us at the table and let free time solution empower you to take control of your time and unlock your full potential. Visit our website at wwwyourfreetimebackcom that's wwwyourfreetimebackcom to learn more and schedule your consultation today. Free time solutions your partner and success. Let's make the most of your free time together. Thank you for joining us at the table. Stay tuned for weekly readings on Sunday. Mindset Monday discussing our weekly readings on Monday and on.

Charlie Hoffman: 32:44

Friday. Thank you for joining in on the fun. Be sure to like and subscribe for more.