Could you reinvent the story of your life with a foundation of love and self-respect? Join your hosts, Charlie and Heather, as we embark on a transformative journey to re-narrate your life story through a lens of love. We’ll explore how embracing self-respect can silence the self-judgment and self-rejection that often keep us from realizing our full potential. We’ll also delve into the empowering practice of minimalism and the freedom that comes from letting go of material possessions to make room for richer experiences and relationships.
In the latter part of the discussion, we’ll share strategies to reclaim and savor your free time by setting healthy boundaries and learning how to say 'no'. Accompany us as we unpack the essence of work-life balance and the power of prioritizing self-care. This episode is a must-listen for entrepreneurs seeking authentic connections, mission explorers, or community builders. Prepare to be enlightened, empowered, and equipped with strategies to rewrite your story with love and purpose. We promise that this journey of self-discovery will bring about a profound change in the way you view your world and your place in it.
Mindful Business Evolution
Heather@mindfulbusinessevotlution.com
Sponsored by FreeTime Solutions!
www.yourfreetimeback.com
You can now find Charlie@yourfreetimeback.com
Could you reinvent the story of your life with a foundation of love and self-respect? Join your hosts, Charlie and Heather, as we embark on a transformative journey to re-narrate your life story through a lens of love. We’ll explore how embracing self-respect can silence the self-judgment and self-rejection that often keep us from realizing our full potential. We’ll also delve into the empowering practice of minimalism and the freedom that comes from letting go of material possessions to make room for richer experiences and relationships.
In the latter part of the discussion, we’ll share strategies to reclaim and savor your free time by setting healthy boundaries and learning how to say 'no'. Accompany us as we unpack the essence of work-life balance and the power of prioritizing self-care. This episode is a must-listen for entrepreneurs seeking authentic connections, mission explorers, or community builders. Prepare to be enlightened, empowered, and equipped with strategies to rewrite your story with love and purpose. We promise that this journey of self-discovery will bring about a profound change in the way you view your world and your place in it.
Mindful Business Evolution
Heather@mindfulbusinessevotlution.com
Sponsored by FreeTime Solutions!
www.yourfreetimeback.com
You can now find Charlie@yourfreetimeback.com
Welcome to At the Table when we are connecting entrepreneurs, discovering missions and building communities with purpose Body, soul, mind and Business with Charlie and Heather, with Free Time Solutions.
Charlie Hoffman:Good morning and happy Monday. Welcome to the table. I am Charlie.
Heather Ross:I am Heather. I don't know, it's Monday again. Yeah, it's an exciting Monday because we're in transition here.
Charlie Hoffman:A little bit. You guys might know we've mentioned it to you that we are not going to be reading the chapters on our YouTube channel anymore, but we are transitioning between books because last week we finished Career Self-Care by Minda Zetland Super amazing.
Charlie Hoffman:Super amazing. Thank you. We have this week's chapter and then two more chapters left in the Voice of Knowledge. We are going to be changing that book up here soon. We started this week. We read the preface and the introduction for Love People and Use Things. That's what we're going to talk about today, along with chapter 10 of the Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Heather Ross:Boom. If you don't know, we do love to come together each week and talk about all things helping to do with mindset and business and showing up the best humans that we can be so that we can have a better community.
Charlie Hoffman:The best way to do that is by sharing our personal growth journey with you.
Heather Ross:I love having conversations. In this book there's a chart and it's perfect. Which book Heather? In the new book, the Love People Use Things, there's a little thing about we remember 10 percent of what we read, 20 percent of what we hear, 30 percent of what we see, 50 percent of what we see and hear, 70 percent of what we discuss with others, 80 percent of what we personally experience and 95 percent of what we teach others. You're such a natural teacher, charlie. Thank you so much. It's so true. I know that with my issues with my brain injuries in the past that I really fully grasped, like sounding out words until I was teaching it to my steps in Timothy. Breaking it down for him and a way for him to understand helped me understand it. It made a difference. I mean, I was stupid. These were limitations because of my brain and the way my brain functions after a brain injury. I think that goes really well with what we're talking about.
Heather Ross:The voice of knowledge is learning to love ourselves.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, this chapter chapter 10, is about writing our story, with love and life as an ongoing romance.
Heather Ross:I love that. I thought the ongoing romance part of that what I thought it was that day that I came in. I'm like I cried because I was singing a love song on the radio to myself, really honoring your story and your journey and loving yourself Yourself. When you do that, it changes the conversation you're having with yourself.
Charlie Hoffman:It also changes the conversation you're having with other people, because when you love yourself, that's when your cup remains full and you're able to pour from the overflow, right. So what does that mean? What does that mean? So, to live in love is to be alive again. It is to return to your integrity, to what you were before knowledge. When you recover your integrity, you always follow love. You live your life as an eternal romance, because when you love yourself, it's easy to love everybody else.
Heather Ross:I like that.
Charlie Hoffman:You don't need a Romeo. When I think about this, I think about what it's like to watch a child play Before knowledge takes hold of them. Right, we've talked about this.
Heather Ross:Yeah.
Charlie Hoffman:Watching a child play and they run and they're full of joy and they're exploring things, they're trying things, they're happy.
Heather Ross:Yeah, they're like an expression of joy.
Charlie Hoffman:Right, they're an expression of joy. And just watching them interact with bugs, flowers, you know the rocks, they're grass.
Heather Ross:Even like grass.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, they are interacting with these things with love. I have Unless a child has experienced like a bee sting or something like that. I have not ever seen a child Like try to Swat a bug or cry and run away. They they're curious about it, right, they want to watch it on.
Charlie Hoffman:Watch the bug, the bee on the flowers, or they want to pet the slug or, you know, play with the rock they want to touch it, yeah, but even when they react with other people, like you know, I've seen kids walk up and like hug dogs, right, or they just want to pet the dog or they're curious. They're curious.
Heather Ross:They want to touch it, see it, feel it, experience.
Charlie Hoffman:But from a place of love, right? So that's what I think of when I think of this. It's like to experience the world with that kind of joy, childlike joy.
Heather Ross:Yes, again, we talked about your working with Sandy, about I had the image of a young child of us and actually finding a photo, and I was really excited that there we can have a whole bunch of photos I'd never seen before of myself and as a child. I was just like, oh, look at all of that smile and you know, do that. Yeah, that was really exciting.
Charlie Hoffman:So See yourself before the label is too cold, yeah, and To connect to her inside. Still me.
Heather Ross:It's an interesting feeling.
Charlie Hoffman:It's pretty cool, pretty cool so.
Heather Ross:What are our points?
Charlie Hoffman:to ponder this week. Let's talk about those, and then we will talk about love. People use things Back to get to the end of the chapter without my paper sticking together. Here we go. Okay, the best way to write your story is with love.
Charlie Hoffman:Love is the material that comes directly from your integrity, from what you really are. So that's like your, that truth that we talked about. What's true for you, that's your integrity. That's the love. Feel that for a second when you introduce the agreement of self-respect. Many self-judgements end there and most of the self-rejection ends there too, when you can allow the voice to talk. But the dialogue is much better. You find yourself smiling and having fun, even when you are just by yourself.
Heather Ross:This has been the coolest part of the practice, and it's been that alone time and really actually enjoying the time with ourselves. I know it's definitely shifted. I live alone, so I actually have more advanced time alone, probably, than you do, not probably but I'm sorry.
Charlie Hoffman:I look at this as more like those self-judgment pieces when we ask the questions to ourselves am I being impactful with my word? Am I doing my best? Am I making assumptions, all those things. My inner dialogue has shifted from being so judgy like. My old inner voice was a royal bitch and my new inner voice is much sweeter.
Heather Ross:More empowering, more empowering.
Charlie Hoffman:More compassionate sympathetic even.
Heather Ross:I find myself giving myself grace without having to remind myself to give myself grace, and that feels really good.
Charlie Hoffman:That does feel good.
Heather Ross:Because it's like, oh, I didn't beat myself up over that. Because then, all of a sudden, there's this absence of this and anybody, shitty committees, always in the inner heads we all have them, but you can change the dialogue you can change the dialogue and you can acknowledge their different voices. Oh you're being judgy, you know like. Oh you're just being shitty.
Charlie Hoffman:No, I'm not going to do that. So the third point of ponder, which I think is really great when you enjoy the presence of yourself, you love yourself not because of the way you are, but because of what you are. The more you love yourself, the more you enjoy your life and the more you enjoy the presence of everyone around you.
Heather Ross:Yes, because when you're already irritated, like with yourself, and then someone next to you sitting next to you, like in something, and they're just breathing, you're like, would you breathe somewhere else? You know, like you're just already irritated, right. You can all relate to that. So, it's really amazing that when you're filling your own cup with that self love, and you're serving from the overflow. You're like, oh, protected and good to be from love, even for you, Even for you.
Charlie Hoffman:Every activity of your life can become a ritual of love eating, walking, talking, working, playing. When everything becomes a ritual of love, you're no longer thinking, you are feeling. Just to be alive makes you intensely happy.
Heather Ross:Stay being in the moment and feeling like the miracle, that your body is upright and you're awake and you're here.
Charlie Hoffman:So beautiful. This explains why. To me, this simply explains why moving your body is important. It's because you love yourself. Why eating healthy is important? Because you love yourself. Why talking with other people is important? Because you love yourself. The work you do you do because you love yourself. The play you do you do because you love yourself. It's a whole thing, right.
Heather Ross:You get to do these things because you love yourself. You get to do these things and the story you're telling yourself is beautiful. I don't know, what this is going to make us cry less, Okay so, moving on, let's talk about this new book.
Charlie Hoffman:You ready to transition? Yeah, there's two more points to ponder. Grab yourself a copy of this book, you guys, because it's been a really, really good one.
Heather Ross:I don't want to cry anymore. Right now, though, I'm really excited about this.
Charlie Hoffman:I feel like this is really important.
Heather Ross:No, this is this. I'm really excited about this.
Charlie Hoffman:You need to actually after reading the intro and the oh yeah the intro, the preface they have a preface and an introduction, so we read both the preface and the introduction before this. And this love people use things, because the opposite never works. It's written by the minimalists, if you've heard of them. They have a YouTube channel, so and other interviews and stuff on YouTube you should check out if you're curious. But their names are Joshua Fields, milbourne and Ryan Nicodinas.
Heather Ross:And I love that it starts with. I believe it's Joshua.
Charlie Hoffman:His mom passed away and I've heard this story before His mom passed away and his marriage ended in the same month. Oh shit, yeah. Yeah, she hit the fan Right and he was. He grew up really for but he was doing. He worked himself up in corporate and basically was able to provide himself with everything he thinks he thought he wanted in life and it all came crashing down, right. So the story the seller sells, the story we tell ourselves so when I have more money, when I have this, when I have that, and then things I'll be happy. When I'll be happy when right and things pile up, or you hold on to things because it reminds you of something, or or you feel like you should have a long journey. Ooh the should Right?
Charlie Hoffman:I feel like that's where this goes. Yeah, like this, we feel like we should hold on to this. So it's so favorite.
Heather Ross:to me, this might be the last slip of paper. I'd ever received from you, like you know, just holding on to the things, and then he's at his mom's and he's going through her stuff and he had a shipping container and you help truck and he was ready to store all this stuff up and he finds a box under no, not just one box or boxes under his mom's bed, completely taped up Like they couldn't have been looked at like in years, right Covered in dust.
Heather Ross:So he's like what on earth could be in these boxes right, and he opens them and they're like his school papers.
Charlie Hoffman:His childhood memories? Yeah, his mom held on to, and it was at that moment I underlined it.
Heather Ross:That was the first time he realized our memories are not our things. Our memories are inside of us and that's so powerful, because it's not the thing. It's not the thing, it's not about the stuff, it's not about the stuff. And that was able to see that he was going to do the same thing as mom did, but holding on to everything, taking it away, putting it in storage.
Charlie Hoffman:He was just putting all the stuff in a bigger box.
Heather Ross:That's when he learned about what value is Right. So if something isn't adding value to your life, it could add value to someone else's.
Charlie Hoffman:Right. So he canceled the storage, he canceled the U-Haul truck and spent 12 days selling and getting rid of everything. All of his stuff Minus like five things that he wanted to keep Right.
Heather Ross:And like things that he could use and have out. I'm like that's so brilliant, because then the memory is alive, right. Then it's bringing joy. It's all the things, all the pieces that we talk about, right, yeah.
Charlie Hoffman:And then and then after that he had to go home to his big house with several cars and a full box.
Heather Ross:The ultimate storage center downstairs, every bin, everything organized in the basement.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, he counts himself a well-organized order. You know his closet was neat and everything was home, just so, and spaced and all the things right.
Heather Ross:And he had access of the things.
Charlie Hoffman:He had too much. He's like his entertainment room was like a circuit city and he's like like I couldn't even turn the volume up all the way or the police will be called.
Heather Ross:So he asked himself the question how might my life be better with less? So he spent eight months just figuring that out right.
Charlie Hoffman:He says as I let go and as I started facing life's tougher questions, my life became simpler. Soon my coworkers noticed something was different too. You seem less stressed. You seem so much calmer. What's going on with you? You seem so much nicer. What I found really interesting back in the beginning of the preface they talked about how owning stuff like you buy a coffee cup. What does the coffee cup actually mean? Right, when you buy a coffee cup, it's 10 bucks. Okay, you spend 10 bucks on this coffee cup. Is the cost only 10 bucks? No, because now you'll have to store the coffee cup. Wash it, wash the coffee cup. Take care of the coffee cup. Use the coffee cup. Repeat, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat forever and ever, until maybe the coffee cup breaks. Or you have 50 coffee cups, so you get rid of a few and it goes away.
Charlie Hoffman:So how much time and energy did that is this thing taking of you? And spaces is taking up in your life, space and energy, right, because if you have stuff you have to maintain and take care of and do all that stuff Like, honestly, some days I feel like my house is definitely too big. Some days, yeah, because it's a lot to take care of and it's a lot to maintain and it takes time and energy and things that I would rather use on working on relationships than just maintaining myself.
Heather Ross:Right, and I like that because I've been we've been working on decluttering for a while. This is like an ongoing thing. I really liked when Amanda taught us that we wasted the money when we bought the item, not when we got rid of the item, because sometimes that's a hold back right, okay, you're holding, that's a money trauma issue. I recommend digging into that if that speaks to you. And then when am I going with that? And then, so what he did was he basically met with his friend who was having a hard time, ryan Nicotimas, and they were besties and he's like hey, I see what you're doing and it tells us about Ryan's life too, and Ryan's like I'm in, and he's like I wasn't looking to sell minimalism to anybody, but okay, what do you mean? You're in. And so it was like what is the next step for somebody? So they thought about when do you have to face all your stuff?
Charlie Hoffman:Like in your life, there comes a point where you have to like face your stuff.
Heather Ross:What do you have? And that's usually moving, or your family has to do it after right.
Heather Ross:So if you pretend so, they decided to pretend that he was moving because he didn't want it to take eight months for him to go through all of his things the way that Ryan did, or adjusted it, so I and so they put they spend a day and put all of his belongings in boxes in his house. I was like this is interesting. And so then he basically, after a little bit, found that he was only using about 20% of the things he had.
Heather Ross:And I thought it was interesting that the 80 20 rule came up.
Charlie Hoffman:I know we're only using to. Yeah, I was like I found the the. I found it really interesting what they said earlier about the consumption of Americans and how American children might have like 200 toys but they only ever play with 12 at a time. 200 toys and they play with 12. Like, I totally understand that, because when my kids were little, gabriel had like a dozen of his Thomas the Tank Engine trains and he didn't play with anything else.
Heather Ross:Yeah, and it's not just because he's autistic, but also like to find out that that's like a normal thing that they only play with a few things Right, like that's nice for us, the train moms.
Charlie Hoffman:Right, but what they're finding is that Americans are struggling with the feeling of being bored, oh right, and that makes sense. Yeah, they don't know what to do with downtime. They literally don't know what to do with down.
Heather Ross:Well, we have everything in front of us to keep stimulated. Yeah, so if we're not taking the downtime, taking time to learn, to meditate, taking time to turn off your phone even right.
Charlie Hoffman:Just for a little bit, so anyway.
Heather Ross:I like to think here too. Getting rid of that excess didn't change his life. It created space for changes that would happen in weeks and months that followed. So, like it created space for the future, you.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, getting rid of stuff, letting go. You are literally letting go of things that are no longer serving you. You're letting go of the expectations attached to it, you're letting go of the emotions attached to it, you're letting go of all that negative energy attached to it, but you are still no longer circuiting.
Heather Ross:We talk a lot about that in our thoughts, but this isn't the physical too. It's both right, and focusing on this is making room for more.
Charlie Hoffman:Making room for more.
Heather Ross:And that's what minimalism is making room for more, and that's what we're going to talk about. Over the rest of most of the nurses, I hope this takes us the rest of the year.
Charlie Hoffman:I think it takes us pretty close to the end of the year.
Heather Ross:Yeah, so we're going to start with relationship stuff. So the things aren't the problem. The problem is the consumption without purpose, right? So, consumption Because we're not being mindful in that moment when we consume. That leads to the over consumption in anything.
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, I think that's one of the reasons why I love getting rid of stuff.
Heather Ross:I know we've been on a lot of these processes and even now I open drawers and there's a half a drawer and then kids combine a few things and I'm like when you used to have overflowing drawers that you had no room for anything in Right. High five Right. Like it's a shift, it's interesting. It's a shift Making room for more, more in the future.
Charlie Hoffman:And as I read this, I think I'm going to get a copy of this for Christmas from my mom, because I think about the older generation and the things that they have held on to my mom. Her mom died when she was a teenager and her dad was in the military and she was not ever well off, right, and her parents grew up in a great depression, right, like when we had literally nothing and you saved everything and you used it and used it, and used it, and used it.
Charlie Hoffman:Right. So that's how she grew up, so then that's kind of how she still is. So she has things in her house Like she's got extra sheets, extra blankets, extra everything.
Heather Ross:When you were reading about his house with, like the mom's house, like all of the sheets and the excessive sheets, it's just her. How many sheets does she need?
Charlie Hoffman:Yeah, Right, yeah, yeah, and she doesn't know this. But when she goes out of town, my little sister goes over and gets rid of things for her, dirt and early, because we know that at some point we're going to be the kids looking at this house full of stuff that we don't want. We'll want five things Maybe, maybe, maybe. So, I would like her to start working on it before that happens.
Heather Ross:Right, it would be such a great gift for her to leave Less stuff, less stuff, less baggage.
Charlie Hoffman:More memories, more memories, yeah, because some memories are here. They're here, you know, they're in your heart, they're in your mind. You're not going to like the ones that are important to you. We'll always be part of you.
Heather Ross:I'm interested to see how we're going to link this into business too.
Charlie Hoffman:It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun, right? I am thinking of cleaning up files Of writing. What is serving me in my digital file world.
Heather Ross:Does 20 clicks to get you to something? Is that worth it Right?
Charlie Hoffman:How can we stream right now All the things? So just think about decluttering your mental space, your physical space and your digital space this week To make room for more.
Heather Ross:More budgetness.
Charlie Hoffman:Muchness, yeah, in your future and not in the realm of this stuff. Right, right.
Heather Ross:So disabilities are endless? No, possibilities.
Charlie Hoffman:Thank you, guys, for joining us this week If you don't have your tickets to Black Cat Ball. You should check that out on our course of the quarter.
Heather Ross:Black Cat Ball is coming up. What Woo, woo, woo, woo.
Charlie Hoffman:It was sure to be so fun and so so beneficial to the cats of Perfect Pals and the people that run it, and even if you can't go, you can still donate, absolutely. Or if you have something you would like to put in a gift basket they are still taking donations.
Heather Ross:All right, all right.
Charlie Hoffman:Thank you so much. We love you. We love you Namaste, namaste.
Heather Ross:As entrepreneurs, we have a unique opportunity to make a positive impact in the world around us. In a time when the world is shifting towards supporting local businesses and embracing community-driven initiatives, it becomes even more important for us to give where our heart leads us At the table. We believe in the power of giving back and that's why we have our cause of the quarter. This quarter, we are proud to support Perfect Pals, a local organization dedicated to rescuing and providing care for stray cats in our community. By supporting local businesses, we can create a ripple effect of positivity, inspiring others to do the same. As we shift our focus solely from supporting large corporations to championing local businesses and giving back, we can also contribute to the growth and well-being of our local community. We believe in small acts of kindness and they can create a ripple effect of positivity and inspiring others to do the same. By championing local businesses and giving back, we not only strengthen our community, but we also foster a sense of connection and unity. Together, we can create a thriving ecosystem where everyone can flourish. So let's follow our hearts and give where it truly matters. Join in supporting Perfect Pals and making a difference in the lives of these furry companions. Together, we can make our community a better place, one act of kindness at a time. Thank you for being part of our journey and for embracing the spirit of giving. Together, let's create a brighter future for all.
Heather Ross:Are you tired of juggling endless tasks, struggling to find time for what truly matters? We have the solution for you Introducing Free Time Solutions, your ultimate partner in reclaiming your time and maximizing your potential. At Free Time Solutions, we specialize in helping businesses like yours thrive in a digital world. From social media management to website optimization and branding, we have the expertise to elevate your online presence and streamline your operations. Imagine having time to focus on what you love to do, what we take care of your business With our dedicated team of experts and innovative solutions. We leave you free to pursue your passions and achieve your goals.
Heather Ross:Whether you are a small business owner, entrepreneur, freelancer, we offer comprehensive services tailored to your needs. Our goal is simple to give you back time and freedom to do what you do best, while we handle the rest. So join us at the table and let Free Time Solutions empower you to take control of your time and unlock your full potential. Visit our website at wwwyourfreetimebackcom that's wwwyourfreetimebackcom to learn more and schedule your consultation today. Free Time Solutions, your partner in success. Let's make the most of your free time together. Thank you for joining us at the table. Stay tuned for weekly readings on Sunday Mindset Monday discussing our weekly readings on Monday and on Friday, our interview and potentially guest host. Stay tuned.
Charlie Hoffman:Thank you for joining in on the fun. Be sure to like and subscribe for more.